Right. Deep breath. Confession time.
The Riff Report has officially started playing Pokémon Go.
There. We said it. Judge away 🤓
But before anyone shouts “sell-outs” or “midlife crisis”, let’s set the scene properly. This isn’t about chasing Pikachu for clout. This is about survival. Because when your daily routine includes gigs, late nights, keyboard warfare, and a frankly dangerous relationship with Greggs, something has to change.
And that something… is steps. A lot of them.
🚶♂️ FROM MOSH PITS TO POKÉSTOPS
Somewhere between our fifth sausage roll of the week and another argument about who used the last Monster, it hit us. We needed to get outside. Touch grass. Move our legs. Do something vaguely resembling exercise.
Enter Pokémon Go.
Now instead of pacing the newsroom like caffeinated goblins, we’re:
Walking between PokéStops like it’s a mini tour Taking over gyms with the same aggression we bring to barrier spots Catching Pokémon outside venues, car parks, and questionable industrial estates Still thinking about Greggs. Constantly. Always.
Is it nerdy? Absolutely.
Is it working? Also yes.
Are we one incense away from calling this “wellness”? Probably.
🥊 THE RIFF REPORT ON TOUR (BUT IT’S JUST A WALK)
You might spot us wandering around Cardiff, Newport, or wherever the WiFi is strongest, phones out, muttering things like “that’s a shiny” and “WHO TOOK OUR GYM, BUTT?”
This is what growth looks like. Allegedly.
➕ ADD US, YOU LEGENDS
If you’re already on Pokémon Go or fancy joining us on this strange, step-counting quest, get involved.
Trainer Code:
👉 2383 2230 0279
Add us, send gifts, help us justify this as fitness instead of just another distraction disguised as self-improvement 😅
Rock journalists. Pokémon trainers.
Still Welsh. Still loud. Still thinking about pasties.
Only in Wales, mun 🤘🔥
