📍 Upcote Farm, Cheltenham – Friday, July 11, 2025
✍️ The Riff Report | Now 47% cider, 53% tinnitus
🏕️ FRIDAY AT TREES: WHERE EMO MEETS ANARCHY IN A FIELD
By Friday, you’ve either hit your stride or hit the floor — and 2000trees doesn’t care which one you are. Because Friday doesn’t warm up, it explodes.
After Thursday’s chaos (cheers Frank and Turnstile), you’d think we’d be emotionally spent. But oh no. Friday brought a tidal wave of breakdowns, lasers, glitter, and face-melting riffs — and somehow still had room for acoustic sob sessions under twinkling fairy lights.
We moshed. We wept. We saw someone crowdsurf in a wheelbarrow. This is Trees.
🎤 MAIN STAGE: RIFFS, RAGE & RAVE CHOIRS
💀 BRUTUS
There’s no better way to start the day than a Belgian trio punching your soul with post-metal despair. Drummer-vocalist Stefanie Mannaerts screamed and wept into the mic like she’d just watched Marley & Me and then punched through a wall. “War” was transcendent. “What Have We Done” made grown metalheads openly sob. Catharsis level: 11/10.
🖤 BOSTON MANOR
Black-clad and brilliant, Boston Manor delivered an emo masterclass. “Foxglove” hit like a breakup text from your therapist. “You Me & The Class War” had the whole field howling like it was 2007 again. They’re the sad kings of Trees, and we are their weepy subjects.
💥 ENTER SHIKARI
One word: SCENES.
Enter Shikari turned Upcote Farm into a politically charged laser rave, and we are still reeling. The “Quickfire Round” melted faces. “Bloodshot” slapped. “{ The Dreamer’s Hotel }” was practically a spiritual experience. And Rou’s impassioned mid-set rant about unity, climate, and the state of the world? Pure Trees energy.
Also: mosh pits during dubstep drops. Because why not?
“If you’re not furious, you’re not paying attention.” – Rou Reynolds, prophet of the pit.
💣 THE CAVE & NEU: SMALL STAGES, MASSIVE CHAOS
🧨 ITHACA (CAVE)
They don’t play shows — they start revolutions. Ithaca came in swinging and didn’t let up. “They Fear Us” had people throwing themselves into walls, each other, and probably emotional trauma. Djamila Azzouz is a vocalist possessed. She didn’t just perform — she exorcised demons.
☣️ KID BOOKIE (CAVE)
This man is a genre-warping, nu-metal-drenched cyclone of chaos. Shouted bars, chugging riffs, and more swagger than a Slipknot fan in a puffer jacket. “Stuck in My Ways” had the crowd in full send mode, and if you didn’t scream “WE DON’T GIVE A…” at least once, did you even Trees?
💥 ENOLA GAY (NEU)
If Fugazi had a bastard noise baby with Sleaford Mods, it would be Enola Gay. Angry, urgent, messy in the best way. They spat bars, shredded guitars, and left the Neu tent vibrating. “Scrappers” went off. No one knew what hit them. Beautiful carnage.
🌲 THE FOREST STAGE: WHERE YOU GO TO SOB IN STYLE
Friday’s forest schedule was a rollercoaster of heartbreak and drunken singalongs.
- Katie Malco – Back again and still emotionally wrecking the entire tree line. “Creatures” reduced us to puddles. She deserves a medal for Most Tear-Inducing Artist.
- Bob Vylan (Acoustic) – Yes, acoustic. But don’t think for a second he wasn’t still raging. “We Live Here” under fairy lights? Chills. The trees have never heard such righteous fury whispered so delicately.
- Skinny Lister – Shanty punk party time! One minute we’re crying, the next we’re shouting sea shanties into the foliage with strangers. Someone crowd-surfed on a plank of wood. Vibes = immaculate.
🍔 FOOD & DRINK – FUEL FOR FEELS AND FLAILING LIMBS
Best Bites:
- 🍟 Loaded Nachos with Spicy Vegan Cheese – We would die for these.
- 🍕 The pizza queue of doom – Worth the wait, and the blisters.
- 🌶️ Mango hot wings – Not vegan, but we heard tales of divine flavour and regret.
Booze Report:
- 🍺 Independent Beer Tent – £7 a pint, tasted like victory.
- 🍹 Mystery Cider at 2am – Could’ve been apple, could’ve been paint thinner. Delicious either way.
🚽 TOILET WATCH – DAY 3: INTO THE ABYSS
- Still functional… but you better bring your own loo roll.
- One portaloo had “CRY PIT ONLY” scrawled on the side.
- Another had someone blasting My Chemical Romance from inside. Honestly? Valid.
🏆 FRIDAY RIFF REPORT AWARDS
| 🏅 Category | Winner |
|---|---|
| Best Set | Enter Shikari – No contest |
| Best Breakdown | Ithaca – “They Fear Us” |
| Loudest Crowd | Boston Manor – you noisy emos, we love you |
| Weirdest Pit Object | Man in a camping chair trying to crowdsurf |
| Most Spotted Merch | Turnstile & Frank Carter still dominating |
| Most Emotional Moment | Katie Malco making a grown man cry mid-burrito |
| Best Quote | “It’s not BO, it’s passion.” – Cave stage legend |
😬 THE BAD, THE BONKERS & THE BEAUTIFUL
- Pikachu Bong confiscated by security 😔
- One bloke tried to propose during an Ithaca set. She said yes. The pit roared.
- We witnessed someone fall asleep in the Forest Stage mid-Bob Vylan. Honestly, a power move.
🌟 FINAL VERDICT: FRIDAY WAS FLAWLESS CHAOS
Friday at 2000trees 2025 will go down in legend. Every stage had its own mini riot. Every band gave their all. Every punter was either screaming, hugging, or crawling back to their tent like a broken warrior.
We cried in the trees, danced in the dust, and left a little bit of our souls in the mud outside the Cave Stage.
This is what festivals are meant to be. Not corporate. Not bloated. Just pure, primal music-fuelled magic.
📸 Got photos of the Friday madness? Tag @theriffreportuk and show us your best/worst moments
🎧 Spotify Playlist: “Friday Forest Fire – Cry / Mosh / Repeat”
🧼 Showers? Optional. Deodorant? Advised.
Next up: SATURDAY – Creeper, Dune Rats, Empire State Bastard, and the last stand of the unwashed and unhinged.
C’mon butt, the hangover’s not here yet – let’s ruin Saturday together. 💀🍻🌳
