๐ Upcote Farm, Cheltenham โ Friday, July 11, 2025
โ๏ธ The Riff Report | Now 47% cider, 53% tinnitus
๐๏ธ FRIDAY AT TREES: WHERE EMO MEETS ANARCHY IN A FIELD
By Friday, youโve either hit your stride or hit the floor โ and 2000trees doesnโt care which one you are. Because Friday doesnโt warm up, it explodes.
After Thursdayโs chaos (cheers Frank and Turnstile), youโd think weโd be emotionally spent. But oh no. Friday brought a tidal wave of breakdowns, lasers, glitter, and face-melting riffs โ and somehow still had room for acoustic sob sessions under twinkling fairy lights.
We moshed. We wept. We saw someone crowdsurf in a wheelbarrow. This is Trees.
๐ค MAIN STAGE: RIFFS, RAGE & RAVE CHOIRS
๐ BRUTUS
Thereโs no better way to start the day than a Belgian trio punching your soul with post-metal despair. Drummer-vocalist Stefanie Mannaerts screamed and wept into the mic like sheโd just watched Marley & Me and then punched through a wall. โWarโ was transcendent. โWhat Have We Doneโ made grown metalheads openly sob. Catharsis level: 11/10.
๐ค BOSTON MANOR
Black-clad and brilliant, Boston Manor delivered an emo masterclass. โFoxgloveโ hit like a breakup text from your therapist. โYou Me & The Class Warโ had the whole field howling like it was 2007 again. Theyโre the sad kings of Trees, and we are their weepy subjects.
๐ฅ ENTER SHIKARI
One word: SCENES.
Enter Shikari turned Upcote Farm into a politically charged laser rave, and we are still reeling. The โQuickfire Roundโ melted faces. โBloodshotโ slapped. โ{ The Dreamerโs Hotel }โ was practically a spiritual experience. And Rouโs impassioned mid-set rant about unity, climate, and the state of the world? Pure Trees energy.
Also: mosh pits during dubstep drops. Because why not?
โIf youโre not furious, youโre not paying attention.โ โ Rou Reynolds, prophet of the pit.
๐ฃ THE CAVE & NEU: SMALL STAGES, MASSIVE CHAOS
๐งจ ITHACA (CAVE)
They donโt play shows โ they start revolutions. Ithaca came in swinging and didnโt let up. โThey Fear Usโ had people throwing themselves into walls, each other, and probably emotional trauma. Djamila Azzouz is a vocalist possessed. She didnโt just perform โ she exorcised demons.
โฃ๏ธ KID BOOKIE (CAVE)
This man is a genre-warping, nu-metal-drenched cyclone of chaos. Shouted bars, chugging riffs, and more swagger than a Slipknot fan in a puffer jacket. โStuck in My Waysโ had the crowd in full send mode, and if you didnโt scream โWE DONโT GIVE Aโฆโ at least once, did you even Trees?
๐ฅ ENOLA GAY (NEU)
If Fugazi had a bastard noise baby with Sleaford Mods, it would be Enola Gay. Angry, urgent, messy in the best way. They spat bars, shredded guitars, and left the Neu tent vibrating. โScrappersโ went off. No one knew what hit them. Beautiful carnage.
๐ฒ THE FOREST STAGE: WHERE YOU GO TO SOB IN STYLE
Fridayโs forest schedule was a rollercoaster of heartbreak and drunken singalongs.
- Katie Malco โ Back again and still emotionally wrecking the entire tree line. โCreaturesโ reduced us to puddles. She deserves a medal for Most Tear-Inducing Artist.
- Bob Vylan (Acoustic) โ Yes, acoustic. But donโt think for a second he wasnโt still raging. โWe Live Hereโ under fairy lights? Chills. The trees have never heard such righteous fury whispered so delicately.
- Skinny Lister โ Shanty punk party time! One minute weโre crying, the next weโre shouting sea shanties into the foliage with strangers. Someone crowd-surfed on a plank of wood. Vibes = immaculate.
๐ FOOD & DRINK โ FUEL FOR FEELS AND FLAILING LIMBS
Best Bites:
- ๐ Loaded Nachos with Spicy Vegan Cheese โ We would die for these.
- ๐ The pizza queue of doom โ Worth the wait, and the blisters.
- ๐ถ๏ธ Mango hot wings โ Not vegan, but we heard tales of divine flavour and regret.
Booze Report:
- ๐บ Independent Beer Tent โ ยฃ7 a pint, tasted like victory.
- ๐น Mystery Cider at 2am โ Couldโve been apple, couldโve been paint thinner. Delicious either way.
๐ฝ TOILET WATCH โ DAY 3: INTO THE ABYSS
- Still functional… but you better bring your own loo roll.
- One portaloo had โCRY PIT ONLYโ scrawled on the side.
- Another had someone blasting My Chemical Romance from inside. Honestly? Valid.
๐ FRIDAY RIFF REPORT AWARDS
| ๐ Category | Winner |
|---|---|
| Best Set | Enter Shikari โ No contest |
| Best Breakdown | Ithaca โ โThey Fear Usโ |
| Loudest Crowd | Boston Manor โ you noisy emos, we love you |
| Weirdest Pit Object | Man in a camping chair trying to crowdsurf |
| Most Spotted Merch | Turnstile & Frank Carter still dominating |
| Most Emotional Moment | Katie Malco making a grown man cry mid-burrito |
| Best Quote | โItโs not BO, itโs passion.โ โ Cave stage legend |
๐ฌ THE BAD, THE BONKERS & THE BEAUTIFUL
- Pikachu Bong confiscated by security ๐
- One bloke tried to propose during an Ithaca set. She said yes. The pit roared.
- We witnessed someone fall asleep in the Forest Stage mid-Bob Vylan. Honestly, a power move.
๐ FINAL VERDICT: FRIDAY WAS FLAWLESS CHAOS
Friday at 2000trees 2025 will go down in legend. Every stage had its own mini riot. Every band gave their all. Every punter was either screaming, hugging, or crawling back to their tent like a broken warrior.
We cried in the trees, danced in the dust, and left a little bit of our souls in the mud outside the Cave Stage.
This is what festivals are meant to be. Not corporate. Not bloated. Just pure, primal music-fuelled magic.
๐ธ Got photos of the Friday madness? Tag @theriffreportuk and show us your best/worst moments
๐ง Spotify Playlist: โFriday Forest Fire โ Cry / Mosh / Repeatโ
๐งผ Showers? Optional. Deodorant? Advised.
Next up: SATURDAY โ Creeper, Dune Rats, Empire State Bastard, and the last stand of the unwashed and unhinged.
Cโmon butt, the hangoverโs not here yet โ letโs ruin Saturday together. ๐๐ป๐ณ
