Steelhouse Festival 2025 – Friday 13th – WHO THE BLOODY HELL WERE THE WHO WANNABES?! 🎸🎤🤯
Right… C’mon butt, gather ‘round. We need to talk. Not about killer riffs. Not about thunderous drums. Not even about a broken toilet tent (again). No. We need to address the absolute fever dream that was The Who Wannabes on Steelhouse Friday. Friday the 13th, mind you. Should’ve known something cursed was gonna go down… 😬
🤡 Who Are The Who Wannabes?
That’s the million-pound question, innit? Were they a tribute band? Performance art? A midlife crisis wrapped in paisley shirts and dad bod swagger? Honestly, they looked like someone dared their uncle’s pub rock band to play The Who’s discography while huffing helium and chewing fireworks.
They came on stage like they’d just escaped from the worst open mic night in Rhyl. But fair play, they had confidence. The singer (let’s call him Roger Daltry-Looked-At-Me-Funny) was swinging the mic like it owed him money. Guitarist was windmilling like his shoulder was on fire. Drummer? Looked like he’d borrowed Keith Moon’s ghost, but forgot how to summon rhythm.
🎶 The Setlist (Allegedly)
Here’s what we think they played:
Baba O’Riley – but with a synth line that sounded like a ZX Spectrum being strangled. My Generation – now titled My Confusion. Pinball Wizard – except the pinball was broken and the wizard was on furlough. Something original? Maybe? Honestly, it could’ve been a Tesco jingle.
There was a moment — swear down — when they tried to merge Behind Blue Eyes with Sex on Fire. We still don’t know if that was a bit, a breakdown, or a cry for help.
😳 The Crowd Reaction
The front row was a mix of stunned silence and nervous giggles. Some people genuinely thought it was a parody set. One bloke shouted, “This ain’t Live at Leeds, it’s Die at Ebbw Vale!”
Kids were covering their ears. Grown men were Googling “how to unsee live music.” And we swear to Lemmy someone in a high-vis started setting up cones around the band like it was a hazard zone.
Still, there was a mosh pit. Because of course there was. Steelhouse lot never back down. Respect.
🧠 Were They… Genius?
Alright, hear us out. What if The Who Wannabes are actually operating on a higher plane? A meta-commentary on rock nostalgia? A deconstruction of legacy bands and tribute culture? Like, what if they’re so bad… they’re brilliant?
Nah. We tried. They were mince. Entertaining mince, but still.
Final Thoughts: 🔥
If you went for a pint during their set, you might’ve dodged a psychological horror. But if you stayed — welcome to the trauma club, butt. We laughed, we cried, we questioned our reality.
Will we remember them? Yes.
Will we book therapy because of them? Also yes.
But you know what? Steelhouse Friday needed a little chaos. And The Who Wannabes brought it in spades, cymbals, and cursed charisma.
Steelhouse, you mad beautiful bastard of a festival – never change. 🤘
(Except maybe vet the tribute acts a bit more carefully next time, yeah?)
🏴 Written in confusion and love by The Riff Report Blog
🔥 Diolch for the nightmares, lads.
