The toy no one asked for… but EVERYONE will want 😎🤘

From the windswept mountains of Ebbw Vale… it’s HERE.
Introducing the officially unofficial STEELHOUSE FESTIVAL ACTION FIGURE – a pint-sized plastic powerhouse packed with more festival energy than a Gregg’s sausage roll and two cans of Monster.

🧍‍♂️ What’s in the box, butt?

  • 🎪 Mini Pop-Up Tent – smells faintly of wet grass and disappointment
  • 🍻 Tiny Refillable Pint Cup – guaranteed to spill no matter how you hold it
  • 🧻 Miniature Loo Roll – because you know the festival portaloo roulette is real
  • 🤘 Mosh Pit Arm Extension Pack™ – for optimal flailing
  • 🎤 Microphone Accessory – only shouts “STEELHOUUUUUSE!” when pressed
  • 🎸 Mini Guitar With Built-In Wind Machine – for that windswept riff look
  • 🧥 Interchangeable Hoodies – sizes include: “Forgot It”, “Borrowed It”, and “Why Is It So Muddy?”
  • 🥾 Steelhouse Mud Boots – with real(ish) stick-to-the-ground technology
  • 🏴 Welsh Flag Cape – comes flapping heroically at all times

BONUS FEATURES:

  • Limited Edition “Rain or Shine” Facial Expression – always looks mildly confused and slightly sunburnt
  • Steelhouse Saturday Hair Pack – choose from “Soggy Fringe”, “Backcombed By The Wind”, or “Trucker Hat & Hope”
  • Fully Poseable – includes “Leaning On The Barrier,” “Queueing For Chips,” and “Sleeping Upright in Camping Chair” stances

💬 Action Figure Says:

  • “TIDY MUN!”
  • “Where’s my tent gone?”
  • “Who’s on next?”
  • “I’m only having one pint, honest…”
  • “I swear it wasn’t this hilly last year!”

🚨 COLLECT THEM ALL!

  • Steelhouse Stage Manager Figure – comes with clipboard and a deep sigh
  • The Eternal Soundcheck Techie – presses one button and mutters “line check” for eternity
  • Mysterious 3rd Stage Band – no one knows who they are, but they slap
  • The Headbanging Sheep – woolly and wild, only in Wales 🐑🔥

🎁 COMING SOON:
The Snoop Dogg At Steelhouse figure with holographic vape clouds and a limited edition bucket hat. Yes really. Maybe. Hopefully.

Steelhouse Action Figure – not sold in stores, only in your dreams and possibly eBay in 20 years for £300 with a melted pint glass.
C’mon butt, start your collection today!