The toy no one asked for… but EVERYONE will want 😎🤘
From the windswept mountains of Ebbw Vale… it’s HERE.
Introducing the officially unofficial STEELHOUSE FESTIVAL ACTION FIGURE – a pint-sized plastic powerhouse packed with more festival energy than a Gregg’s sausage roll and two cans of Monster.
🧍♂️ What’s in the box, butt?
- 🎪 Mini Pop-Up Tent – smells faintly of wet grass and disappointment
- 🍻 Tiny Refillable Pint Cup – guaranteed to spill no matter how you hold it
- 🧻 Miniature Loo Roll – because you know the festival portaloo roulette is real
- 🤘 Mosh Pit Arm Extension Pack™ – for optimal flailing
- 🎤 Microphone Accessory – only shouts “STEELHOUUUUUSE!” when pressed
- 🎸 Mini Guitar With Built-In Wind Machine – for that windswept riff look
- 🧥 Interchangeable Hoodies – sizes include: “Forgot It”, “Borrowed It”, and “Why Is It So Muddy?”
- 🥾 Steelhouse Mud Boots – with real(ish) stick-to-the-ground technology
- 🏴 Welsh Flag Cape – comes flapping heroically at all times
BONUS FEATURES:
- Limited Edition “Rain or Shine” Facial Expression – always looks mildly confused and slightly sunburnt
- Steelhouse Saturday Hair Pack – choose from “Soggy Fringe”, “Backcombed By The Wind”, or “Trucker Hat & Hope”
- Fully Poseable – includes “Leaning On The Barrier,” “Queueing For Chips,” and “Sleeping Upright in Camping Chair” stances
💬 Action Figure Says:
- “TIDY MUN!”
- “Where’s my tent gone?”
- “Who’s on next?”
- “I’m only having one pint, honest…”
- “I swear it wasn’t this hilly last year!”
🚨 COLLECT THEM ALL!
- Steelhouse Stage Manager Figure – comes with clipboard and a deep sigh
- The Eternal Soundcheck Techie – presses one button and mutters “line check” for eternity
- Mysterious 3rd Stage Band – no one knows who they are, but they slap
- The Headbanging Sheep – woolly and wild, only in Wales 🐑🔥
🎁 COMING SOON:
The Snoop Dogg At Steelhouse figure with holographic vape clouds and a limited edition bucket hat. Yes really. Maybe. Hopefully.
Steelhouse Action Figure – not sold in stores, only in your dreams and possibly eBay in 20 years for £300 with a melted pint glass.
C’mon butt, start your collection today!
