โYour phoneโs dead, your voice is gone, and your soul is full. One more day, cโmon butt!โ
Itโs Sunday. Your boots are now biologically part of your feet, your bank balance is a war crime, and your tent may or may not have blown into Wales. But thereโs one more glorious, chaotic, mud-splattered day of music to be had โ and youโre gonna make it count. ๐ค
This isnโt just a line-up. Itโs the last chapter in your weekend epic. The final riff. The goodbye hug. The sunrise moment youโll remember until next yearโs ticket panic. ๐ซ
๐บ Pyramid Stage โ Closing Ceremonies Fit for Legends ๐ฐ
The Glasto main stage. The sacred altar. The place where dreams burst into flames (sometimes literally, if youโre too close to the pyro).
๐ Taylor Swift โ After years of rumour and rescheduling, sheโs here. TayTay closes the festival with an Eras Tour-meets-Glastonbury mega-set. Expect costume changes, emotional monologues, acoustic tears, and a literal Blank Space where your brain used to be. Youโll scream. Youโll cry. Youโll text your ex.
๐ค The National โ Masters of melancholic magic. Matt Berningerโs baritone will vibrate your soul as Mr. November and Bloodbuzz Ohio drift across the valley. Peak “arms round your mates sobbing with joy” vibes.
๐ช First Aid Kit โ Imagine Fleetwood Mac and Emmylou Harris had a Scandi folk baby and raised it on dreams and harmonies. Thatโs them. Perfect pre-sunset serenity.
๐ธ Manic Street Preachers โ Cymru am byth! ๐ด Our proud Welsh heroes bring angst, intellect, and that unmistakable working-class fire. A Design for Life on the Pyramid Stage? Goosebumps, mun.
๐ฅ Ezra Collective โ Mercury Prize winners and one of the UKโs most exhilarating live acts. Horns, drums, sweat, joy โ theyโll launch Sunday with a joyful jazz-funk explosion you wonโt forget.
๐ The Other Stage โ Loud, Leftfield & Legendary
Still the best place to stumble into something epic.
๐ง The Prodigy โ No festival is safe when these boys are on stage. Itโs not just music โ itโs war. You havenโt truly lived until youโve seen a mosh pit at 2pm in a bucket hat.
๐ฆ Tove Lo โ Glittery synth-pop with teeth. Sheโll take you from crying in the rain to dancing like no one’s watching. Often in the same song.
๐ Phoebe Bridgers โ Emotionally devastating in the most beautiful way. This is your moment to hold hands with strangers and cry under a pastel sky.
๐ค Bombay Bicycle Club โ A Glasto classic. Theyโve grown up with the fest and it shows โ tighter than your tentโs broken guy rope and just as essential.
๐๏ธ Yard Act (DJ Set) โ Forget chin-stroking post-punk, their DJ set is absolute chaos. Think Talking Heads remixes, weird Eurodance, and somebody crowdsurfing on a traffic cone.
๐ West Holts โ Global Beats & Final Heat
This is the part of the festival where you discover the best gig you werenโt even planning to see.
๐ Erykah Badu โ Neo-soul royalty. Her voice is like velvet dipped in honey and cosmic dust. Donโt be surprised if she casually conjures a storm mid-set.
๐ Fat Freddyโs Drop โ New Zealand dub-funk legends. Theyโll lull you into a swaying trance, then hit you with a trumpet drop that resets your chakras.
๐ Ibibio Sound Machine โ West African disco with synths and sass. Imagine Daft Punk at Carnival with a brass section and youโre halfway there.
๐ค Mahalia โ Midlands R&B sensation. Think Lauryn Hill energy with a British accent and the confidence of a queen.
๐ฅ KOKOROKO โ Afrobeat ensemble with soul to spare. This is where you dance with a pint in each hand and forget you ever had responsibilities.
๐ The Park Stage โ Bit Strange, Bit Brilliant
Where the crowd is slightly cooler, slightly weirder, and very into it.
๐ Sufjan Stevens โ If he drops Chicago, expect tears. Lots. And probably someone proposing to someone else with a biodegradable glitter ring.
๐ธ Dry Cleaning โ Weird spoken-word indie with jangly riffs and sarcastic lyrics. It’s like your favourite Twitter thread had a nervous breakdown and formed a band.
๐ป Florist โ Dreamy, delicate, and emotionally tender. Bring tissues, a blanket, and someone to cuddle.
๐ง black midi โ Unpredictable math rock mind-benders. Part gig, part jazz meltdown, part sonic exorcism. Youโll either love it or leave confused and slightly aroused.
๐ Mystery Guest โ Big rumours. Massive buzz. People reckon itโs Damon Albarn with something sneaky. Could be Gorillaz, could be Blur, could be a piano duel with Elton Johnโs hologram. Either way โ get there early.
๐ฅ Woodsies โ Last Indie Hurrah
The perfect place to end your festival wrapped in guitars and feelings.
๐ถ Arlo Parks โ Pure sunshine. Her poetry and soft vocals will wrap around you like your favourite hoodie. Youโll cry. Again.
๐ค The Murder Capital โ Irish post-punk from the heart. Ferocious, fragile, and absolutely magnetic.
๐ธ Inhaler โ Fronted by Bonoโs son, but don’t let that put you off โ these lads have earned their hype. Expect big singalongs and lots of denim.
๐ Orla Gartland โ DIY indie pop queen. Her live shows are funny, chaotic, and beautifully cathartic.
๐ค The Big Moon (Acoustic Set) โ Soft and soaring. Like a Sunday hug from your best mate wrapped in harmony.
๐ Silver Hayes โ One Last Wobble
If youโre not ready to stop, neither is the rave.
๐๏ธ Four Tet โ Electronic legend. His set is always a Glasto highlight. Expect sunrises, serotonin, and a few marriage proposals.
๐ฅ ANNA โ Industrial techno with attitude. Come for the BPMs, stay for the face-melting drops.
๐ฟ Eliza Rose B2B ??? โ She of B.O.T.A fame brings the garage sass and a surprise guest. Rumour says Skream. Or someone from East 17. Either way, letโs av it.
๐ Daniel Avery โ Dark, moody, and spine-tingling. The perfect come-down rave up.
๐ท๏ธ Arcadia โ Burn Baby Burn
Letโs end this thing with fire, lasers, and basslines that break bones.
๐ฅ Pendulum (Live) โ YES. Theyโre back. And yes, they brought Tarantula, Propane Nightmares and the kind of live energy that could reanimate a Glasto casualty.
๐ฃ Refracta B2B Mozey โ Jungle madness, all energy, all elbows. Proper old-school vibes.
๐ Closing Pyro Show โ The sky will light up, the crowd will roar, and youโll be crying while hugging someone you met at the water refill tap.
๐ฟ Hidden Realms & Festival Folklore
Places that donโt exist until you find them (or hallucinate them).
๐ชต The Rabbit Hole โ You might finally find it… or it might find you.
๐ถ The Crows Nest โ High on the hill with acoustic magic and unexpected tears.
๐ Shangri-La & Block9 โ If youโre not crawling through a neon-lit post-apocalyptic jungle rave at 3am, did you even Glasto?
๐ The Final Word
You made it, you beautiful warrior of mud and melody. ๐๐
You raved, you roared, you sobbed during Taylor Swift, and you danced with a fire-breathing spider. Your tentโs dead. Your soul? Full.
Glastonbury 2025 โ over and out.
Until next year, butt. โ๏ธ๐
