The riffs were mighty… but even the gods of rock have regrets! 😱
Led Zeppelin – the band that basically invented heavy rock and made every teenager in the ’70s want to buy a Les Paul, grow their hair out, and scream about hobbits. 🤘 But believe it or not, even the mighty Zep weren’t in love with everything they recorded. That’s right – some of their own songs made them go: “What were we smoking?” (probably a lot, let’s be honest 😅)
So, let’s dig into the rare times the hammer of the gods came down on themselves. Here are 6 Led Zeppelin songs that the band absolutely hated – or at least side-eyed with suspicion. 🧐
⚡1. “Living Loving Maid (She’s Just a Woman)”
Album: Led Zeppelin II (1969)
💬 Jimmy Page: “It was a filler. We never played it live.”
Oof. Straight from the guitar wizard’s mouth. Despite being the B-side to “Whole Lotta Love”, Jimmy Page thought this track was lightweight fluff. And because he hated it so much, it was never performed live. Ever. Not even once. That’s gotta sting like a bad groupie story from ’72.
⚡2. “Hot Dog”
Album: In Through the Out Door (1979)
This honky-tonk rockabilly pastiche sounds like something your drunk uncle would dance to at a wedding. And let’s just say, Led Zeppelin weren’t exactly proud of this yee-haw detour. While John Paul Jones defended it as “a bit of fun,” others felt it was too far from their sound. Jimmy Page later said the album overall lacked direction, and “Hot Dog” was definitely part of that chaos. 🤠
⚡3. “The Crunge”
Album: Houses of the Holy (1973)
“Where’s the bridge?!” …exactly.
A James Brown-style funk experiment that left most fans scratching their heads and Robert Plant’s own voice smirking mid-song. The band thought it was hilarious — at first. But over time, this track aged about as well as a banana in a sauna. Even hardcore fans tend to skip it faster than a dodgy track on a cassette walkman.
⚡4. “D’yer Mak’er”
Album: Houses of the Holy (1973)
Pronounced “Jamaica” (get it?), this reggae-meets-rock experiment was met with critical eye-rolls — and even Led Zep themselves weren’t sold on it. Plant tried to defend it, but Page and Bonham weren’t keen. Bonham especially hated it, calling it a “joke gone wrong.” Imagine trying to slam out some Caribbean chill when you were born to bash drums like a Norse god.
⚡5. “All My Love”
Album: In Through the Out Door (1979)
This one hurts. A heartfelt tribute from Plant to his late son, but it wasn’t universally loved within the band.
💬 Jimmy Page: “Not really a Led Zeppelin track.”
Page thought it was too soft, too keyboard-heavy, and too pop. While fans embraced its emotional core, Page resented how far the band had drifted from the thunder of earlier days. You can practically hear him longing for the days of “Achilles Last Stand.”
⚡6. “Royal Orleans”
Album: Presence (1976)
A funky oddball based on a real incident involving John Paul Jones and a mistaken gender identity (long story 😅), this track was full of inside jokes… but lacking in musical punch. Even Plant admitted it was a bit of a throwaway. Presence was a hard album, and “Royal Orleans” felt like a weird joke in the middle of a battlefield.
🤯 Honourable Mentions:
- “Boogie with Stu” – Sounded more like a pub jam than a polished track.
- “Carouselambra” – Overloaded with synths, underloaded with Zep fire.
- Any band member’s solo project in the ’80s – Don’t ask, just… don’t.
🎤 Final Riff:
Even gods of thunder have off days. For every “Stairway to Heaven” there’s a “Hot Dog” wobbling around in cowboy boots it doesn’t belong in. But hey — it just makes us love them more, innit?
Because when you make “Kashmir,” you’re allowed to take a few dodgy detours into reggae and rockabilly. 😎
Tidy job, lads. Even your “bad” songs are still better than most bands’ greatest hits. Diolch, Zep. 🛐
🔥 Got a Zep song you secretly loathe?
👇 Drop it in the comments and let’s argue about it over some lukewarm festival cider.
#TheRiffReport #LedZeppelin #RegretTheRiff #RockLegends
