“Smoke on the Water” is just the beginning, mun… Welcome to the full throttle, Hammond-shredding, Ritchie-smashing, Gillan-screaming journey through the entire Deep Purple discography. Strap in. This is gonna be a wild ride through over 50 years of rock history.

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🔥 1. Machine Head (1972)

💿 The ultimate Purple record. Period.
Highlights: “Smoke on the Water,” “Highway Star,” “Lazy”
🎤 Why it rules: Every riff’s a monster, every solo’s nuclear. This album is the reason you’re holding a guitar wrong in front of your mirror right now.
🏆 Rock ‘n’ roll royalty, proper job.

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🔮 2. In Rock (1970)

💿 The birth of heavy metal as we know it.
Highlights: “Child in Time,” “Speed King,” “Into the Fire”
⚡ What’s occurring: Gillan’s screams. Blackmore’s riffs. Lord’s organ. This album invented the hard rock arms race.
🤘 Tidy stuff.

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🏰 3. Perfect Strangers (1984)

💿 The reunion that actually slapped.
Highlights: “Perfect Strangers,” “Knocking at Your Back Door,” “Nobody’s Home”
📣 Comeback of the decade. Moody, majestic, and riff-packed.
🧙‍♂️ A late-career gem with loads of wizard energy.

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🌊 4. Burn (1974)

💿 Coverdale and Hughes crash the party – and bring groove.
Highlights: “Burn,” “Mistreated,” “Sail Away”
🔥 Sexy, bluesy, funky – and still heavy as hell.
🎤 Coverdale’s swagger + Blackmore’s fire = lush.

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🕰️ 5. Fireball (1971)

💿 Weird, wild, underrated brilliance.
Highlights: “Fireball,” “No No No,” “The Mule”
🔮 Quirky and experimental but still rocks your nan off the sofa.
🛸 It’s the sci-fi Deep Purple album you didn’t know you needed.

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🛠️ 6. Deep Purple (1969)

💿 Mk I bows out with a baroque bang.
Highlights: “April,” “Bird Has Flown,” “Why Didn’t Rosemary?”
🎻 A bit proggy, a bit hippie, but packed with ideas and ambition.
🎼 Lord’s classical touches steal the show.

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⚔️ 7. Stormbringer (1974)

💿 More funk, more soul, but still packs a punch.
Highlights: “Stormbringer,” “Soldier of Fortune,” “Holy Man”
🕺 It’s the ’70s – you’re wearing flares and shaking hips to Purple.
🌩️ Divisive but mighty fun.

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🧙‍♀️ 8. The House of Blue Light (1987)

💿 Eighties sheen meets classic chops.
Highlights: “Bad Attitude,” “The Unwritten Law,” “Call of the Wild”
💻 Slick production, synths creeping in, but still has bite.
🪩 A strange beast, but not without charm.

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🎭 9. Who Do We Think We Are (1973)

💿 Band falling apart – but still dishing out gems.
Highlights: “Woman from Tokyo,” “Rat Bat Blue”
💥 Tension in the air. Magic in the riffs.
😤 The sound of a great band mid-divorce.

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🧠 10. Purpendicular (1996)

💿 Morse code unlocked.
Highlights: “Sometimes I Feel Like Screaming,” “Ted the Mechanic”
🎸 Steve Morse joins, and suddenly the band is having fun again.
🌈 A creative rebirth – weird title, great album.

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🥀 11. Abandon (1998)

💿 Get it? A-Ban(d)-On? Never mind.
Highlights: “Any Fule Kno That,” “Almost Human”
🎤 Raw, heavier, and dark – like a stormy pub gig in Aberdare.
🌑 Underrated and angry.

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⌛ 12. Now What?! (2013)

💿 Surprisingly lush late-career prog rock vibes.
Highlights: “Vincent Price,” “Uncommon Man”
🧪 A mature, moody, and elegant LP.
🔮 They aged like fine Welsh whisky.

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🕯️ 13. Infinite (2017)

💿 Dad rock? Maybe. But your dad’s cooler than you.
Highlights: “Time for Bedlam,” “All I Got Is You”
🚀 Leans modern, leans safe – but they still sound like Purple.
📈 Solid, not spectacular.

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🔁 14. Rapture of the Deep (2005)

💿 A bit murky, a bit proggy, a bit meh.
Highlights: “Rapture of the Deep,” “Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye”
🧞‍♂️ Feels like filler between brighter eras.
📻 Not bad, just not banging.

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💀 15. Bananas (2003)

💿 What is this title, lads?
Highlights: “House of Pain,” “Silver Tongue”
🍌 Bold title, middling music.
🥴 You’ll forget it exists until someone brings it up in a pub quiz.

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🫣 16. Slaves and Masters (1990)

💿 The one with the Rainbow guy – and not the good Rainbow.
Highlights: “King of Dreams,” “Love Conquers All”
🎤 Joe Lynn Turner tries his best, but it’s more AOR than Purple.
🙃 Feels like Deep Purple cosplaying as Bon Jovi.

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🎹 17. Shades of Deep Purple (1968)

💿 Mk I’s debut – and it shows.
Highlights: “Hush,” “Mandrake Root”
🍼 Still finding their feet. “Hush” slaps, the rest is dated.
📻 Late ’60s radio rock with a future legend hidden inside.

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🎨 18. The Book of Taliesyn (1968)

💿 Cover art: cool. Music: patchy.
Highlights: “Anthem,” “Kentucky Woman”
📚 Mostly covers and filler – not the mystical prog masterwork the title suggests.
😶 You won’t go back to it much, butt.

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🛌 19. Turning to Crime (2021)

💿 A covers album no one asked for.
Highlights: “7 and 7 Is,” “Rockin’ Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu”
🕵️‍♂️ It’s fun… but we were waiting for the next real Deep Purple album.
🥸 Feels like a retirement hobby project.

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👶 20. Deep Purple (Mk I) (Self-Titled, 1969 US-only version)

💿 Essentially a patchwork of the first two albums
Highlights: “Emmaretta,” “Lalena”
📼 Only hardcore collectors need apply.
🧹 More compilation than coherent album.

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🧾 Final Thoughts

Deep Purple have reinvented themselves more times than most bands even get to release a second album. From psychedelic origins to proto-metal legends to aging rock gods still giving it some, they’ve done it all – and usually in a haze of Hammond organ smoke.

🎤 Some albums make you want to start a band.
💿 Some make you want to start a fire.
🙈 And some… make you want to start skipping tracks.

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Which one’s your favourite, butt? Got beef with the rankings? Tell us on socials @theriffreportuk – or just scream “CHIIIIILD IN TIIIIIME!” at the nearest mountain and see who echoes back. 🏔️

Diolch for coming along for the ride. 🎸🔥