Full Review by The Riff Report Blog – July 5, 2025
Stage: Back To The Beginning Main Stage
Band: Guns N’ Roses (aka “Who let this happen?”)
Time: Somehow dragged on for 3 hours that felt like eternity in slow motion 🫠
🥀 “YOU’RE IN THE JUNGLE, BABY”… AND IT’S A SWAMP OF SADNESS 🐢
We’re not gonna sugarcoat it, butt – this wasn’t just bad… it was spectacularly, shockingly, soul-shrivellingly awful.
You’d think Guns N’ Roses, a band with one of the most iconic back catalogues in rock history, would be a surefire win to headline Villa Park. But what we got instead?
🎤 Microphones cutting in and out
🎹 Piano solos that sounded like they were being performed underwater
🦥 Axl Rose moving like he was cosplaying as a hungover wax statue
🎸 Slash trying his absolute best to salvage the mess while everyone else just… stood there
🫢 THE SETLIST – ON PAPER, LEGENDARY. IN REALITY? PAINFUL.
- Welcome to the Jungle (barely audible, slower than doom metal, crowd confused)
- It’s So Easy (spoiler: it wasn’t)
- Mr. Brownstone (he’s been doing that dance for 40 years and it shows)
- Estranged (11 minutes of emotional confusion and awkward glances)
- You Could Be Mine (you could… but we don’t want you anymore)
- Civil War (bit on the nose, considering the state of the band)
- Live and Let Die (please. Let.)
- Sweet Child O’ Mine (finally got the crowd back… for 90 seconds)
- Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door (and heaven refused to answer)
- November Rain (aka “Axl Sits At The Piano While Slash Wonders What He’s Doing Here”)
- Paradise City (a karaoke version, if the singer was falling down a hill)
🎤 AXL ROSE – A MAN OUT OF BREATH, OUT OF TIME, OUT OF TUNE
We’re sorry. We wanted this to be good. But Axl’s voice is just… not there anymore.
- Half the time it sounded like he was trying to do an impression of himself from 1987.
- The other half? A bizarre, nasal falsetto that made “Sweet Child” sound like Alvin & The Chipmunks after a three-day bender.
- He vanished from the stage multiple times without explanation.
- At one point, he sat on a speaker mid-song and just watched Slash play with the energy of a bloke waiting for a bus.
And don’t get us started on the outfit: red bandana, black trench coat, pyjama bottoms, and… Ugg boots?!
🎸 SLASH – THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE STAYED
Let’s be honest – Slash was the MVP.
Every time he launched into a solo, the crowd actually cheered like we’d been given a brief reprieve from the cringe spiral.
You could see the pain in his eyes, but he still played like a legend – even if the rest of the band were noodling like they were rehearsing in a garage in Dudley.
🥁 BAND VIBES – ZOMBIE JAM SESSION
- The drummer looked like he was just clocking in for a shift at Greggs.
- Duff barely moved, muttered a “cheers” once, then disappeared again.
- The rest? Session players on autopilot, occasionally looking around like, “Are we still going?”
🤯 CROWD REACTIONS – FROM HYPE TO HORROR IN TWO SONGS
- “Woooo GUNS N’ R… oh.”
- One guy was full-on asleep on his girlfriend’s shoulder by “Estranged.”
- A small mosh pit started during “You Could Be Mine” and immediately dissolved like a wet tissue.
- At least 30% of the crowd left before “November Rain” finished.
- One lad near the barrier shouted “Put on ABBA!” and honestly… we didn’t blame him.
🧨 FUNNY OR TRAGIC? WHY NOT BOTH?
- The mic cut out right before the big “You know where you are?” scream in Jungle.
- Axl tried to hype the crowd and called us “London.” In Birmingham.
- A beach ball made it further across the stage than Axl did all night.
- Slash’s solo during “Paradise City” was drowned out by people shouting “BOOOO” at the mixing desk.
🎯 FINAL VERDICT: FROM LEGENDS TO LEMONS 🍋
This should have been the comeback of a lifetime. Instead, it was a cautionary tale in 12 songs.
We love Guns N’ Roses. We really do. But this was a parody of themselves, an unintentional Spinal Tap sequel with less charisma and more off-key wailing.
Score: 3/10 Wilted Roses and Broken Dreams 🌹🪦
Mood: Embarrassed. Secondhand cringe. Still humming Slash’s solos tho.
Diolch, Guns… but maybe next time leave the jungle where it belongs.
