What’s occurring, butt!?
Sharpen your pencils, tune your guitars, and get ready to yell “STICK IT TO THE MAN!” at full volume because we’re taking a nostalgic, riff-drenched dive into School of Rock — the 2003 masterpiece that turned a classroom of quiet kids into a fully operational rock battalion.
It’s been over twenty years since Dewey Finn and his mini metal militia blew our collective minds. The riffs? Immortal. The quotes? Living rent-free in our heads. The kids? Now full-grown legends with lives as varied as a Steelhouse lineup curated by a squirrel on energy drinks.
So… where are they now? Strap in. This is your Riff Report rollcall. 🎸⚡
🎤 JACK BLACK (Dewey Finn)
The man, the myth, the human riff generator.
Jack Black has not slowed down for even a nanosecond. Tenacious D continue steamrolling the planet with tours, new songs, chaotic videos, and general goblin energy. He’s also somehow become the internet’s favourite uncle, meme factory, and volcano of joy.
He is rock’n’roll. End of. 😈🔥
👑 MIRANDA COSGROVE (Summer “Tinkerbell” Hathaway)
Summer bossed the band, and Miranda bossed Hollywood.
Straight from School of Rock, she became Nickelodeon royalty with iCarly, returned for the reboot, and now sits comfortably in that realm where everything she touches turns into a meme or a trending sound on TikTok.
She still has more managerial authority than half the UK festival circuit. Proper job, mun.
🎸 JOEY GAYDOS JR. (Zack “Zack-Attack” Mooneyham)
The chosen one. The riff prodigy. The kid who wrote “Legend of the Rent” on the spot.
Joey’s still attached to music, still shredding, and still capable of firing out licks that could raise the dead. He’s kept a lower profile at times, but the love from fans has never dimmed. Once a guitar hero, always a guitar hero.
🥁 KEVIN CLARK (Freddy “Spazzy McGee” Jones)
Freddy became a real-life gigging drummer, slamming skins across Chicago with the intensity of a Cardiff rugby crowd after six pints.
Kevin tragically passed away in 2021, and the outpouring of love from castmates and fans proved just how much of a legend he was.
Forever part of the band. 🖤🥁
🎶 RIVKAH REYES (Katie “The Bass Machine”)
Rivkah has blossomed into an actor, musician, comedian, and all-round creative juggernaut. They’ve spoken honestly about life after child stardom and have become a brilliant voice for recovery, identity, and self-love.
Still funky. Still powerful. Still someone you absolutely want in your rhythm section. 🎵💫
🎹 ROBERT TSCHERNER (Lawrence “Mr Cool”)
The timid keyboard wizard who worried he “wasn’t cool enough” went on to stay involved in music while living a quieter, more private life.
No matter where he is or what he’s doing, we KNOW he’s still cool enough. His piano solo remains the best explanation for why keyboards belong in rock.
🎭 ALEC MEDLOCK (Billy “Fancy Pants”)
The fashion visionary of the group.
Alec moved into writing, filmmaking, voice acting, and creating stuff behind the camera. Still talented. Still hilarious. And almost certainly still capable of crafting an outfit that could withstand a Tredegar windstorm.
🎤 MARTA, ALICIA & THE BACKUP SINGERS (Caitlin Hale, Angeline Apple, Maryam Hassan)
The choir of chaos!
Caitlin Hale and Angeline Apple stepped mostly out of the spotlight, popping up occasionally in cast reunions to ruin us all emotionally. Maryam Hassan (who played Tomika) also stepped away after an iconic performance that made us all attempt whistle notes we had no business attempting.
Those harmonies? Eternal. 🎤✨
💅 BRIAN FALDUTO (“You’re tacky and I hate you”)
King of sass turned country artist, LGBTQ+ advocate, and wellness coach.
His music is wholesome as fresh Welsh bread rolls, and his personality could light up a rainy night on the Ebbw Vale bypass.
“You’re tacky and I love your glow-up.”
🧠 MIKE WHITE (Ned Schneebly + writer of the whole thing)
The quiet one in the corner wrote School of Rock and then went off to create The White Lotus, one of the most talked-about series of the decade.
The man contains multitudes. And riffs.
🎒 THE REST OF THE CLASS
Some became musicians.
Some became teachers.
Some went into tech, marketing, production, therapy, sound engineering, or the elusive world of “normal jobs.”
But every one of them carries the badge of honour: They were part of the greatest fictional band to never headline Download (yet).
🤘 FINAL RIFF
The School of Rock kids didn’t fade — they EVOLVED.
They grew up, found their paths, kept the music alive in all sorts of ways, and left a legacy bigger than Dewey’s questionable rent situation.
Twenty years later, the fans still chant the songs, the memes keep spreading, and the band… well, the band lives forever.
If you want a follow-up deep dive, reunion rumours breakdown, or a Ranked: Greatest School of Rock Songs listicle, give me the signal, butt! 🎸🔥🏴
