Well, butt, we didn’t have this one on the 2025 metal bingo card! The kings of gore-soaked death metal, Cannibal Corpse, have just unleashed their gutsiest merch item yet — a flipping colouring book. That’s right: the band behind “Hammer Smashed Face” now wants you to stay between the lines. 😳🖍️
🧠 What’s Occurring?
The Florida death metal legends, known for their famously gruesome album art and songs that sound like the soundtrack to a zombie apocalypse in a blender, have taken a… creative turn. Their brand-new official colouring book features hand-drawn, black-and-white illustrations inspired by classic Cannibal Corpse artwork, stage antics, and yes — plenty of blood, guts, and gory glory. 🔪🩸
🎨 What’s Inside?
Expect to see:
- “Tomb of the Mutilated” artwork reimagined for colouring fun
- Headbanging corpses 🤘
- George “Corpsegrinder” Fisher’s legendary neck, ready for shading
- Instruments, skulls, demons, disembowelments — all in adorable line-art style
- Gigantic pages perfect for crayons, markers, or sacrificial blood ink (just kidding… sort of)
It’s designed for adults, of course. This ain’t your nephew’s Peppa Pig colouring pad — this is Cannibal Corpse Unleashed: Colouring for the Criminally Insane. 🧠🖍️
💬 The Band Says…
When asked why, bassist Alex Webster reportedly said:
“We always wanted to do something outside the box. Our fans are creative. Now they can colour their own nightmare fuel.”
Honestly, fair. 🤷♂️
📦 Where Can You Get It?
The colouring book is available via the band’s official store and select metal merch retailers. Limited-edition signed copies include Corpsegrinder’s autograph in blood red ink (probably not actual blood… probably). There’s even a bundle with crayons shaped like bones. Only in metal, mun. 🤘🩻
🧛♂️ Why We LOVE This
- It’s weird. And weird is wonderful.
- It’s giving metal grandma vibes and we’re here for it.
- It might be the most peaceful way to experience Cannibal Corpse — unless you’ve got death growls blasting while you colour, in which case: respect. 🎧
🤔 So… Who’s Next?
If Cannibal Corpse can drop a colouring book, what’s next?
- Napalm Death: Mindfulness Journal? 🧘♂️
- Slipknot: Dot-to-Dot of the Nine? 🔢
- Slayer: Sudoku of Satan? 🔥🔢🧩
🖼️ Final Thoughts
This is the kind of unhinged merch move we didn’t know we needed — and now we want one for every death metal band out there. Stick it next to your vinyls, break out the crayons, and get ready to shade entrails like a boss.
Tidy work, Cannibal Corpse. Tidy. 🤘🎨🩸
Want a Cannibal Corpse Colouring Party at your next metal night? Let us know, we’ll bring the red crayons. 🖍️💀
#TheRiffReport
#CannibalCorpseColouring
#StayMetalStayInsideTheLines
Michael is the founder, editor, and chief riff wrangler behind The Riff Report, an independent Welsh rock and metal publication built by fans, for fans. With a lifelong passion for loud guitars, unforgettable live shows, and the incredible community that surrounds rock and metal, he created The Riff Report to celebrate everything that makes the scene special—from legendary headline acts and grassroots venues to rising bands that deserve to be heard.
A familiar face at festivals across the UK, Michael spends much of the year covering events including Download Festival, Bloodstock Open Air, Steelhouse Festival, Firevolt, Plumpton Revival, and many more. Whether he’s battling the Welsh weather on a mountainside, surviving a weekend in a muddy campsite, or squeezed against the front barrier with thousands of fellow fans, he’s always searching for the next great story to share.
As editor of The Riff Report, Michael writes festival guides, breaking news, album reviews, gig reviews, interviews, opinion pieces, nostalgia features, and behind-the-scenes stories from across the rock and metal world. His writing combines honest opinions, humour, and a genuine love for live music, bringing readers closer to the bands, festivals, venues, and people that keep the scene alive.
Michael is particularly passionate about supporting independent artists, local venues, charities, and the wider UK rock and metal community. He believes every band deserves a chance to be discovered and every festival has a story worth telling. Through The Riff Report, he aims to shine a spotlight on both the biggest names in rock and the future stars waiting to break through.
When he’s not writing or interviewing artists, you’ll probably find him exploring festival campsites, photographing live shows, chatting with fellow fans over a pint, or planning the next road trip in search of more riffs, bigger crowds, and unforgettable moments.
Above all, Michael believes rock and metal are about more than music—they’re about community, friendship, and creating memories that last a lifetime. That’s exactly what The Riff Report exists to celebrate.
Proudly Welsh. Proudly Loud. Always chasing the next great riff. 🤘
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