By The Riff Report’s Official Beer-Taster-In-Chief 🍺
Alright ya frothy legends — gather round, pint in hand and curiosity primed. We’ve cracked open the archives, raided the fridges, and necked more IPAs than medically advisable just to bring you this MEGA-LIST of everything BrewDog has ever poured, pushed, punted or pulled from shelves. 👀
From the beers that made ‘em famous to the ones that vanished faster than your bank balance at the bar – here’s the ULTIMATE DRINKS ROLL CALL of what BrewDog has unleashed (and occasionally murdered) over the years.
🎯 The Core Lineup – The Beers You’ll Still Find at the Bar
These are the faithful. The ones that show up on time, never ghost you, and always deliver a tasty punch to the tonsils:
🟡 Punk IPA
The beer that started it all. A tropical, bitter, riotous 5.6% slap in the face. If this isn’t on tap, you’re in the wrong bar, butt.
🍊 Elvis Juice
Like someone juiced a grapefruit into a hop cannon. 6.5% citrusy chaos. Dangerous and delicious.
🌫️ Hazy Jane
Soft, juicy and smoother than a Barry White slow jam. A New England IPA that made hazy mainstream.
❄️ Cold Beer
No frills. No fuss. Just crisp, smashable lager with a name so obvious it hurts.
❄️ Lost Lager
BrewDog’s go-to Pilsner for when you need a session beer that doesn’t taste like disappointment.
🧃 The AF Gang – Non-Alcoholic But Not Boring
Booze-free but full-bodied, these beers are for the designated drivers, the midweek drinkers, and the “I’ll only have one” fibbers:
- Punk AF – Zero ABV. All punk attitude.
- Hazy AF – Still hazy, still tasty, just won’t get you barred.
- Elvis AF – Same grapefruit hit, no next-day regret.
- Cold AF – Lager without the loopy.
Diolch for making Dry January slightly less tragic.
🌞 Seasonals & Rotating Rascals
These are the flings. The wild one-night stands. Here today, gone before you’ve posted it on Untappd.
- Mugshot (Spring) – A toasty little dark horse perfect for when the sun thinks about coming out.
- Slush Rush (Summer) – Sweet, fruity chaos. Like a Solero made out of sin.
- Oktoberfest – BrewDog’s take on Bavarian brilliance. Lederhosen optional.
- Winter Staycation – Like cuddling a log fire. Spiced, malty, festive and probably far too strong.
🧪 Small Batch Experiments, Rare Drops & Cult Faves
These are the mythical beasts. Some return. Some are gone. All are glorious:
- Zeitgeist – Black lager goths still pine over.
- Chaos Theory – Nelson Sauvin NEIPA that once had Reddit in meltdown.
- Trashy Blonde – A sassy little number they should bring back.
- Alice Porter – Dark, rich and borderline romantic.
- 77 Lager – Old-school Pilsner vibes.
- Dogma – Spiced ale brewed with honey and heresy.
- Rip Tide – Stouty goodness with the power of Poseidon.
- Paradox – A RIS aged in whisky barrels. Like licking a distillery floor.
- Tokyo* – A nuclear-powered stout that basically is a war crime in pint form.
- Tactical Nuclear Penguin – World’s strongest beer, frozen to concentrate flavour and fury.
- Sink The Bismarck! – Quadruple IPA madness at 41%. RIP your liver.
- The End of History – Beer. In a taxidermied squirrel. No, seriously.
Oh and let’s not forget:
- Ghost Deer
- Bitch Please
- Abstrakt Series
- Hello My Name Is… (Insert whatever fruit they found)
- I Hardcore You
- Hardcore NZ
- Avery Brown Dredge
You either tasted these… or you missed out forever. 🪦
💀 THE BEER GRAVEYARD: BrewDog Beers That Got the Axe
Even in beer-land, legends fall. Whether due to poor sales, bad reviews, or just being too chaotic for this world — these brews met the big barrel in the sky:
- Hardcore IPA – The heavy hitter that couldn’t handle 2017.
- The Physics – Amber ale that fizzled into myth.
- Trashy Blonde – She was too sassy for this world.
- Chaos Theory – Occasionally resurrected. Mostly MIA.
- Dogma – Retired, revived, vanished again. Proper diva.
- Sink The Bismarck! – Too intense for human consumption.
- The End of History – Legally questionable. Morally hilarious.
- 77 Lager – Clean but forgotten.
- Paradox – Probably aged longer than your Spotify Wrapped playlist.
- Rip Tide – Deep, dark, gone.
- Tokyo* – Sometimes banned. Always badass.
🍻 TL;DR – Your Cheat Sheet
| ✅ Available Now | 🌀 Seasonal/Specials | 💀 Discontinued |
|---|---|---|
| Punk IPA | Mugshot | Hardcore IPA |
| Elvis Juice | Slush Rush | Trashy Blonde |
| Hazy Jane | Oktoberfest | Dogma |
| Cold Beer | Winter Staycation | Chaos Theory (mostly) |
| Lost Lager | Sink The Bismarck! | |
| Punk AF / Hazy AF etc. | Tokyo* (intermittent) |
🍺 Final Thoughts (and Belches)
Love or loathe ’em, BrewDog has made beer fun again. From serious craft cred to squirrel-toting PR stunts, their beer list reads like a diary of drunken ambition. Some drinks were genius. Some were jokes. Some probably broke a few laws.
But we’ll drink to that. 🍻
Now, what’s next? Should we rank ’em? Rate the worst-named? Or go on a mission to revive Trashy Blonde? Let us know on socials, butt.
YESS MUN! Let the pints pour and the chaos continue.
🖤 From the punk taps to the barrel-aged bangers – only at The Riff Report – where your beer gets the rock ‘n’ roll it deserves.
