Right… gather round the bar, grab a pint, and brace yourselves…
Because in news that sounds like it was cooked up after three days at Download and zero sleep…
William Shatner is making a HEAVY METAL album.
Yeah. That William Shatner. Captain Kirk himself.
And he’s not just dipping a toe in either, butt… he’s gone full send and recruited Dave Lombardo – the legendary drum machine behind Slayer 😱🥁
Oh… and just to make things even more chaotic?
A member of Disturbed has also jumped onboard.
🤯 WHAT TIMELINE ARE WE IN?!
Let’s be real for a second…
This is either:
- The weirdest crossover in music history
- Or the beginning of something gloriously unhinged
Shatner’s always had a bit of a wild streak when it comes to music – spoken word albums, dramatic covers, full theatrical energy…
But this?
👉 This is Shatner entering the pit.
And honestly… we’re here for it 😈
🥁 DAVE LOMBARDO – FROM SLAYER TO SHATNER?!
Let’s talk about that Lombardo announcement for a second, yeah…
This isn’t just some random collab. This is one of the most influential drummers in metal history linking up with a sci-fi icon turned spoken-word madman.
Dave Lombardo’s drumming is:
- Fast 💨
- Relentless 🔥
- Built for chaos 🤘
So the idea of him backing Shatner’s dramatic vocal style?
👉 That’s either going to melt faces… or melt brains. Possibly both.
😈 DISTURBED ENTER THE CHAOS
While we’re still waiting to find out which member of Disturbed is involved, the band’s signature sound already gives us a clue what might be coming…
Think:
- Massive, cinematic production 🎬
- Big, chant-along choruses 🎤
- Enough punch to shake a festival field 💥
Mix that with Shatner’s theatrical delivery and Lombardo’s drumming and you’ve basically got…
👉 Sci-fi metal theatre madness.
🎸 WHAT’S IT GONNA SOUND LIKE THEN?
Let’s paint the scene, Riff Report style:
Picture this…
🌌 A stage lit like a spaceship
🥁 Lombardo unleashing blast beats like a man possessed
🎤 Shatner delivering dramatic, almost Shakespearean spoken-word vocals
🔥 Disturbed-style riffs crashing in like a tidal wave
It’s weird.
It’s bold.
It’s probably a bit unhinged.
And that’s EXACTLY why we love it.
🍺 FINAL THOUGHTS – DON’T PRETEND YOU’RE NOT CURIOUS
Look… this could go one of three ways:
- Absolute chaos (the bad kind)
- Absolute chaos (the BRILLIANT kind)
- Something so bizarre it becomes legendary
Either way…
👉 We’re all pressing play the second it drops. Don’t lie.
Fair play to Shatner as well – still out here taking risks, trying new things, and refusing to play it safe.
That’s more rock ’n’ roll than half the scene, mun 💥
🤘 RIFF REPORT VERDICT
🎤 Madness Level: 11/10
🥁 Riff Potential: Dangerous
🔥 Hype Factor: SKY HIGH
🍺 Would we stick this on in the pub? …absolutely
If this album delivers even half the chaos it promises…
We might be looking at the strangest metal release of the decade 😈
Stay tuned, butt – this ride’s about to get loud 🤘
