Right. Deep breath. Confession time, mun.
Yes — The Riff Report absolutely, unapologetically loves The Apprentice.
And no, we will not be taking questions from the metal police at this time 😅🤘
Twenty. Bloody. Series.
That’s two decades of dodgy business plans, PowerPoint crimes against humanity, taxis to nowhere, and Lord Sugar firing people like he’s tuning a Marshall stack.
🧠 FROM 2005 TO 2026: A NATIONAL OBSESSION
When The Apprentice first landed back in 2005, none of us expected it to become this weirdly comforting British ritual.
Since then we’ve had:
- Logos that look like GCSE coursework
- “Premium” products nobody asked for
- Candidates confidently explaining things that are objectively wrong
- And that glorious walk of shame into the boardroom 😬
Yet here we are.
Twenty series deep. Still watching. Still shouting at the telly. Still asking “HOW ARE THEY STILL IN?”
That’s legacy behaviour.
💼 LORD SUGAR: STILL FIRING, STILL ICONIC
Let’s be honest — Lord Alan Sugar is the show.
The raised eyebrow.
The sigh.
The “with regret…” pause that sends shivers down spines nationwide.
He’s basically the Ozzy Osbourne of British business telly at this point — weathered, sharp-tongued, and somehow more entertaining with age.
And when he drops a line that absolutely ends someone?
Chef’s kiss. Proper job. 😈👌
🤦♂️ WHY DO WE LOVE IT SO MUCH?
Look, we cover rock, metal, chaos, and community — but The Apprentice taps into something very similar:
- Big personalities clashing under pressure
- Ego vs reality
- Confidence without competence
- Group projects gone violently wrong
It’s basically a prog-metal concept album, but with spreadsheets.
Also — let’s be real — watching people mess up spectacularly while claiming they’re “disrupting the market” is oddly soothing after a long day.
🎸 IS IT ROCK ’N’ ROLL? ABSOLUTELY NOT
🎤 IS IT ENTERTAINMENT? 100%
Would we crowd-surf to it? No.
Would we headbang to the theme tune? Maybe ironically.
Would we still watch every episode with a brew and shout “YOU’VE FORGOTTEN THE COSTINGS!” at the screen?
Absolutely, mun.
Music snobbery is boring.
Liking things ironically is exhausting.
Liking things genuinely — even if they’re a bit daft — is punk as hell.
🧾 THE VERDICT FROM THE BOARDROOM
Series 20 is here.
The format still works.
The chaos still hits.
And yes — The Riff Report is locked in.
Judge us if you must… but you’re probably watching too 😉
📺 The Apprentice returns on BBC One and iPlayer
🔥 20 years of boardroom carnage and counting
Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got a logo to redesign badly and a business plan to forget halfway through.
You’re fired. 💼💥
