Merch Madness Hits Worthy Farm – And You Thought The Toilets Were Mental 💩 There’s always one moment at Glastonbury that makes you question whether we’re here for the music or just the chaos. This year? It wasn’t Elton’s ghost hologram or another surprise set in the woods. Nah, mate — it was the gigantic, […]
“Was that an opening ceremony or a pagan exorcism?” – probably every confused festivalgoer in Somerset Welcome to Glastonbury 2025, where dreams are made, legends are born, and… the opening ceremony makes you question your entire life’s choices. 🫠 That’s right, butt — the world’s most iconic festival kicked things off with a much-hyped, highly […]
It looms in the distance like a mythical beast. It’s seen more glitter than the entire cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race and has repelled more hopeful invaders than a nightclub bouncer at 3AM. We’re talking, of course, about The Great Wall of Glastonbury – the mighty, magnificent steel barricade that protects Worthy Farm like some […]
“It’s only Thursday?!” – you, dancing barefoot at 3am in a fairy-lit forest Let’s not pretend otherwise – Thursday is the true opening ceremony of Glastonbury. Sure, the official music kicks off Friday, but anyone who’s made it through the gates, set up a semi-functional tent, and downed their first warm cider knows… the vibes […]
From Pyramid Stage to wallet rage – why £7.50 a pint has Glasto-goers fumin’! 🎪 Welcome to Worthy Farm… Please Empty Your Bank Account at the Bar 💸 Ahh, Glastonbury Festival. That mythical land where dreams are made, legends perform, and a single pint costs more than your weekly Lidl shop. 😩 As the gates […]
🍔💰 Cheap Eats, Big Flavours, and Festival Feasts for a Fiver (and a Bit) Look, we all know Glasto ain’t cheap. You’ve paid a small fortune for the ticket, probably flogged a kidney to afford your tent upgrade, and now you’re staring down five days of overpriced halloumi and sadness. 😩 But fear not, fellow […]
Date: June 22, 2025Venue: Co-op Live Arena, ManchesterTour: 50th Anniversary Tour – “Still Running to the Hills”Blog: The Riff Report Blog – “Louder than the devil’s own jukebox” 🎼 Prelude to Metal Immortality: 50 Years of Maiden Let’s set the scene, shall we? It’s 2025. Iron Maiden have officially hit the Big 5-0, and instead […]
It’s the ultimate battle of the bands – a globe-spanning smackdown louder than Lemmy’s motorbike and heavier than a hangover at Bloodstock. One question has divided metalheads for decades… Who’s got the better bands – the UK or the USA? Grab your battle jackets, tune your air guitars, and let’s throw down. It’s time for […]
Well, c’mon butt… where do we start with this one? Guns N’ Roses rolled into Villa Park like a battered tour bus with three wheels and a flat, and the crowd? Let’s just say half were running for the loos before November Rain had even drizzled. 😅 This show was part of their much-hyped UK […]
By order of the Prince of Darkness himself… Brum just got a lot louder! Birmingham, brace yourself – Ozzy Osbourne is back in town, and he’s bringing the madness with him. After years of health setbacks and tour delays, the Godfather of Heavy Metal is returning to his roots with a massive hometown comeback gig… […]
Welcome to the side of Glastonbury most of us only see through TikTok, drone footage, or the bitter envy of our rain-soaked souls in the general camping zone. This isn’t just glamping—this is ultra-premium, gold-plated, rub-it-in-your-face festival royalty. We’re diving headfirst into the £29,000 tipi setup, complete with helipad, private pool, chef-made meals, and celebs […]
Let’s not sugarcoat it: we’re not 18 anymore, butt. Our gig days now include phrases like “I need to book annual leave the day after” or “I can’t stand for more than two bands in a row.” 😅 So here’s a spicy idea, fresh from the land of leeks and leather jackets… 💡 Matinee Rock […]
So, you’ve just screamed “SCREAM FOR ME DUBLIN!” with 20,000 other headbangers at the mighty Malahide Castle 🤘. Your voice is gone, your neck’s wrecked, and your ears are still ringing from “Hallowed Be Thy Name.” But now comes the true test of your metal mettle… Getting home. 🏃♂️💨 Don’t worry, butt – we’ve got […]
The Beast has landed in Dublin! Iron Maiden are about to raise hell at the stunning Malahide Castle, and we’re here to make sure your pre-gig pints, post-show snacks, and logistical survival are all sorted like a true roadie pro. 🤘 From pubs oozing character to chip vans with queues longer than the Powerslave tour, […]
Ahh Glastonbury… where dreams are made, bands become legends, and at least 47 people attempt to sneak in dressed as bins. 🌻🎪 While most of us are here for the tunes, the tears, and the taste of overpriced vegan burritos, there’s a small but spicy crowd who end up somewhere less magical: the infamous Glastonbury […]