Just when you think the live music world has finally reached maximum chaos, somebody grabs the rulebook, sets fire to it and apparently turns the standing area into a public toilet.
Fans attending My Chemical Romance’s Glasgow show were reportedly left horrified after a couple were allegedly spotted urinating in the middle of the packed pit.
Yes, really.
Not near the toilets. Not hidden away in some quiet corner. Right there among fellow concertgoers who had paid good money to watch one of the biggest alternative rock bands on the planet.
That is not the kind of golden circle anybody asked for, mun.
🖤 AN EMOTIONAL NIGHT TAKES A VERY STRANGE TURN
My Chemical Romance concerts are normally filled with dramatic singalongs, black eyeliner, emotional breakdowns and thousands of fans roaring every word to the band’s biggest anthems.
You expect tears during The Black Parade.
You expect crowds screaming themselves hoarse.
You might even expect the occasional lost shoe, spilled pint or overexcited crowd surfer flying overhead like a goth Superman.
What you do not expect is to discover that somebody nearby has decided the pit is now an emergency lavatory.
According to reports circulating online, the couple were allegedly caught relieving themselves while surrounded by other fans in the standing section.
Unsurprisingly, the story quickly sparked disgust, disbelief and plenty of horrified reactions from gig-goers.
🤢 THE PIT IS NOT A PORTALOO
Let us be absolutely clear here.
The pit is for:
- Moshing
- Dancing
- Screaming lyrics
- Helping people back onto their feet
- Losing your voice
- Questionable air guitar
- Accidentally getting elbowed by a bloke called Darren
The pit is not for having a wee.
Anyone who regularly attends concerts and festivals knows toilet queues can be grim. Sometimes they stretch halfway across the venue and move slower than a doom-metal intro.
But that does not give anybody permission to turn the floor beneath everyone else’s trainers into a splash zone.
There are basic rules at gigs. Look after one another, do not deliberately hurt people, respect the staff and try not to behave like you have been raised by feral badgers behind a Wetherspoons.
Using the crowd as cover while urinating breaks several of those rules at once.
🎤 FANS DESERVE BETTER
Concert tickets are not cheap.
Fans travel long distances, book hotels, organise childcare and spend months looking forward to these shows. For some people, seeing My Chemical Romance live is a bucket-list moment filled with nostalgia and genuine emotion.
Nobody should have that experience ruined because somebody could not be bothered to find a toilet.
It is also deeply unfair to venue staff and security teams, who already have enough to deal with during major concerts without needing to investigate reports of people creating their own indoor water feature.
The couple involved have not been publicly identified, and details surrounding the incident remain limited, but the reported behaviour has understandably left fans asking one important question:
What on earth were they thinking?
🚽 TOILET QUEUES ARE ANNOYING — THIS IS WORSE
We have all experienced the nightmare of deciding whether to leave the crowd and risk missing a favourite song.
You spend half the show carefully monitoring your bladder like it is a ticking bomb.
Do you go during the support band?
Do you wait until a lesser-known album track?
Do you attempt the dangerous mission of leaving the barrier and somehow finding your mates again afterwards?
These are the difficult strategic decisions every gig-goer must face.
But the correct answer is never: “I’ll just go here.”
No anthem, no matter how beloved, is worth subjecting an entire section of the audience to something that disgusting.
🤘 THE RIFF REPORT SAYS…
Live music is supposed to be chaotic.
It should be loud, sweaty, emotional and occasionally held together by cheap lager and pure determination.
But there is a massive difference between good gig chaos and behaviour that ruins the night for everyone around you.
So, here is today’s public service announcement from The Riff Report newsroom:
Use the toilets.
Even if the queue is long.
Even if your favourite song might be next.
Even if you have secured the perfect spot in the crowd.
The pit belongs to the fans, the riffs and the glorious shared madness of live music.
It does not belong to your bladder.
Stay hydrated, plan your toilet breaks and keep the standing area free from unexpected puddles, butt. 🤘🖤🚽
Proudly Welsh. Proudly Loud. And proudly using the proper facilities.
