Alright butt, gather round the campfire of riffs 🔥 because it’s time for a little tough love. We’ve all got those bands we worshipped back in the day — posters on the wall, patches on the denim jacket, air guitar solos in front of the mirror… and then somewhere along the line, the magic fizzled. […]

The Ultimate UK Rock & Metal Festival Mega Guide 🎪⚡ Welcome, riff warriors, mud wrestlers, chair arguers, and pint lifters 🍺🤘 – you’ve just stumbled into The Riff Report’s 10,000-word monster guide to every rock & metal festival the UK has to offer. We’re talking Download chaos, Bloodstock brutality, Steelhouse singalongs, Slam Dunkers falling asleep in car parks, […]

(Because you can’t call yourself a true metalhead until you’ve lost a welly in the Wacken mud, mun…) 🥁 INTRO: FROM BRITAIN TO THE BIG LEAGUES You’ve done the UK circuit: Download, Bloodstock, maybe even the mighty Steelhouse up the Welsh mountain. You’ve fought chair wars, been soaked at Donington, and sung “Ace of Spades” […]

What’s occurring, metal fam? 🏴If you’re anything like us, there comes a point when you’ve blasted Master of Puppets at full volume, scared the neighbours with a bit of Slayer, and headbanged so hard you’ve given yourself whiplash (again 😅). At some point, you just want to sit down with a pint and binge some […]

So, you’ve finally decided to plunge headfirst into the noise, sweat, beer, and glory of a heavy metal concert? Welcome to the madhouse, butt. 🏴 You’ve picked a wild hobby that’ll leave you deaf, broke, and permanently addicted to the sound of double kick drums rattling your ribcage. But don’t panic – The Riff Report […]

Let’s be honest, mun – most so-called “metal journalism” these days is about as useful as a chocolate teapot in a mosh pit. 🫠 Instead of celebrating the thunder, sweat, and glorious chaos of heavy music, you get: The scene deserves better. Fans deserve better. Bands definitely deserve better. What’s Wrong With Metal Journalism? 🎤 […]

Ahhh heavy metal. The genre that’s been blamed for everything from Satan worship to scaring your nan’s cat. 🐈‍⬛ Since Black Sabbath first dropped their riffs of doom in Birmingham, metalheads have been painted as angry, violent, bat-biting lunatics. Spoiler alert: it’s mostly bollocks. So grab a pint, throw up the horns, and let’s shred […]

🎤 Intro: Vegas, Baby… Or Maybe Not If you thought the End of the Road Tour was the last word in the KISS saga, you clearly haven’t been paying attention. KISS don’t “end.” They mutate, regenerate, slap their name on a new merch bundle, and keep the show rolling. 🤡💰 But recently, news dropped that shook both […]

People who don’t “get” metal always ask the same thing:“Why do you listen to all that angry music? Doesn’t it make you miserable?” HA! If only they knew… The truth is, metalheads are some of the happiest, friendliest, and most balanced people you’ll ever meet. Forget the stereotypes of doom and gloom – underneath the […]

Ever wondered what it would be like to spend a whole day in the shoes of a rock legend? Not just in the crowd, not just at the merch table, but actually living the backstage life. Well, Lita Ford—yes, that Lita Ford, legendary guitarist of The Runaways and heavy metal queen—has thrown open the gates […]

Rock ‘n’ roll isn’t supposed to be polite, mun. It’s messy, loud, dangerous, and sometimes a full-on train wreck — and we bloody love it. But every so often, the chaos tips from glorious carnage into absolute meltdown. From fistfights and riots to frontmen storming off in a huff, here are 12 of the worst […]

Well, well, well… who’d have thought it, butt? The Filipino fast food giant Jollibee has rocked up in the UK with their bee mascot, fried chicken empire, and gravy tubs the size of a small paddling pool. And you know what? I was massively surprised – in the best way possible! First Impressions 🐝 Walk […]

What’s occurring, metalheads? The kawaii-metal queens themselves – BABYMETAL – have just gone and made history louder than a Marshall stack cranked to 11. Their brand-new collab-heavy record Metal Forth has catapulted them into the Billboard 200 Top 10 – making them the first ever all-Japanese group to pull off this monumental feat in the US charts. 🎤🔥 That’s right butt, America’s finally […]

Alright mun, here it is: the ultimate clash of the fried chicken titans. Think of it like Metallica vs Megadeth, Blur vs Oasis, or Cardiff City vs Swansea (easy now 👀). I finally tried Popeyes in the UK for the first time, and of course, the big question is: Is it better than KFC? 🎤 […]

Alright butt, strap in. Because I just did something mad: I went to Wendy’s… in the UK. Yes, you read that right. Wendy’s, the red-haired, burger-flipping American fast-food legend, has swaggered back onto our shores like a rock band announcing a reunion tour after decades in rehab. 🎸🔥 And honestly? This feels like the greatest […]