From Java Joy to Courtroom Drama – The Stirrer That Got Stirred Up If you ever had a cup of McDonald’s coffee in the ‘80s or ‘90s, you might remember a curious little plastic spoon – sleek, short, perfectly sized for mixing your milk and sugar. Innocent enough, right? Well, c’mon butt… this tiny utensil […]

Move over, Axl. Step aside, Slash. There’s a new lineup of rock queens in town, and they’re bringing the jungle with them. 💅🎸 Bra’s N’ Roses, the ultimate all-female Guns N’ Roses tribute band, are storming the stage at Hangar 18 Music Venue in Swansea on Saturday, 23rd August 2025, and we’re here for the […]

“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” – Robin Williams Today, we raise a glass (and probably spill it laughing) in memory of one of the greatest comedic and dramatic talents to ever walk this weird little planet. Robin Williams would’ve turned [insert age based on year – 2025 makes […]

The end of an era on a Manchester wall. There it was. Bold. Beautiful. Blinding. A mural in Manchester that didn’t just stop traffic – it made history. “The Band With the 3 Stripes – live ’25” – painted in stark Adidas black and white, like a battle flag for every Manc, mod, and music […]

“Learn your ABCs, ya filthy animal!” 🅰 A is for Axe Not the smelly body spray — this is the term for your trusty six-string weapon. Whether it’s a Les Paul or a battered Strat covered in stickers and beer stains, an axe is what separates the posers from the players. 🎸🪓 🅱 B is […]

How Heavy Metal Captures the Allure of True Crime Through Intense Tracks 🎸 Blood, riffs, and unspeakable horror — welcome to the darker side of metal.From guttural growls to banshee wails, heavy metal has always had a thing for the macabre. But when bands step beyond fiction and dig into the bloody archives of real-life […]

Brought to you by The Riff Report – powered by passion, pints, and pure sonic violence 🤟🍺 What’s occurring in the world of metal this week? Only absolute chaos and brilliance, mun! 🤯 Whether you’re into blackened doom, melodic mayhem, or breakdowns that make your nan clutch her rosary beads – we’ve got you. Here’s […]

New shores, same glorious carnage at sea – let’s set sail, butt! Oi Sailors! The world’s heaviest cruise is back, and it’s changing course for 2026. That’s right, 70000TONS OF METAL, the world’s biggest floating festival of face-melting riffage, is now setting sail to Nassau, Bahamas – and the first wave of bands is already […]

Alright you beautiful riff-lovin’ reprobates, we’ve been having a nosey through your DMs, comment sections, and drunken shouts at festivals (yes, we did hear the guy yelling “DO ONE ON DAVE GROHL YOU COWARDS!” at Download – love ya, pal)… And we reckon it’s high time we ask YOU:👉 Which rock or metal legends deserve […]

Imagine being on trial not for what you said—but for what you allegedly hid backwards in your music. That’s exactly what happened to Judas Priest on July 16, 1990, when they walked into a Nevada courtroom—stripped of their leathers and forced into stiff business suits—to defend themselves against a lawsuit accusing them of causing two […]

Ah yes… Attila. The name alone conjures images of flaming skulls, shredded leather, and maybe an angry yak with a Hammond organ. But believe it or not, before Billy Joel was crooning about Italian restaurants and uptown girls, he briefly went full metal. And to this day, he seems equally amused and mildly horrified by […]

“Wait, they like Slayer?!” Metalheads come in all shapes, sizes, and shockingly… careers. From wizarding world icons to Hollywood A-listers and even a royal or two (seriously), here are 12 famous faces who secretly (or not-so-secretly) bang their heads to blast beats and breakdowns. 🥇 1. Jason Momoa – King of Atlantis, Lord of the […]

(Because Monster Mash just doesn’t cut it anymore, mun) 1. Black Sabbath – “Black Sabbath” The OG horror riff. Rain, thunder, Satanic panic. The track that launched a genre and gave us nightmares since 1970.🕯️Sounds like: Lucifer doing yoga in a graveyard. 2. Iron Maiden – “Fear of the Dark” Classic Maiden anthem that’ll make […]

67,311 McPoints and Not a Clue What To Do With Them (Until Now…) Alright, c’mon butt — who’s hungry?Because we’ve just realised that The Riff Report Crew is sitting on a glorious stash of 67,311 McDonald’s points. That’s not just a cheeky cheeseburger or two — that’s a full-blown fast food festival lineup! 😳🍔🍟🍦 And […]

Well butt, dust off your “Many of Horror” vocal cords and start practising your “WOOOOS!” because Biffy Clyro are kicking off 2026 the only way they know how – loud, sweaty, and absolutely refusing to wear shirts. 🥵 The Scottish alt-rock titans have just dropped the news that they’ll be smashing through nine dates across […]