C’MON BUTT… gather round the merch table, because we need to shout this from the mountaintops of Cymru to the backstreets of Leeds… VERSUS ARE AN ABSOLUTE TIDY BUNCH OF LEGENDS. 🤘😄 Not only did they sit down with us for a proper lush interview, but they also sent the entire Riff Report crew a […]
🎶🔥 FAMOUS SONGS WITH LYRICS WE ALL GET WRONG — WHAT’S OCCURRING, MUN?! 🔥🎶Welcome back to The Riff Report, where we lovingly ruin your favourite tunes by telling you what they actually mean. Strap in, butt — some of these are proper “WTF?!” moments. 🤘😂 👀 THE POLICE — “EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE” The vibe […]
If your Christmas playlist has been feeling a bit too polite, too cosy, not enough catsuits and falsetto shrieking… worry not, butt — The Darkness have arrived like glitter-covered elves armed with Flying Vs to save the season! 🤘✨ Yup, our favourite glam-rock mischief-makers have unleashed a life-affirming, over-the-top, gloriously daft cover of Cliff Richard’s […]
Alright butt, gather round the festive riff-filled fireplace because The Riff Report is officially launching the daftest, loudest, and most wholesome Christmas mission of 2025: 🎅 WE’RE TRYING TO GET OZZY OSBOURNE TO CHRISTMAS UK NUMBER 1 WITH MAMA, I’M COMING HOME! Yes. Really.And if we pull this off, it’ll be the most beautifully chaotic […]
How Do You Go From Three #1 Albums To… THAT? Only in 2025, butt… only in 2025 would THE BEATLES — the biggest band in human history, the group who invented half the modern music industry by accident — drop the fourth entry in their legendary Anthology series and somehow debut at… #48. Forty. Eight.For […]
Tidy philosophy for life, innit? Alright butt, gather round the merch pile — it’s time for a public service announcement from The Riff Report:Metalheads AND Rockers do NOT age.We simply respawn with more black T-shirts, more leather jackets, more gig scars, and a collection of tour laminates that would make a museum curator weep with […]
The Riff Report Tribute The rock world woke up today to heartbreaking news: Justin Baren, former teen pop-rock star and bassist with that unmistakable vintage swagger, has died aged just 40. And c’mon butt… this one stings. Proper stings. 😢 🎸 A TEEN STAR WHO NEVER LOST HIS EDGE In the mid-2000s, Justin became one […]
Well here we go once more unto the breach, fellow maggots. Slipknot’s resident chaos conductor, artistic mastermind, and metallic bonk-wizard Shawn “Clown” Crahan has spoken — and Look Outside Your Window, the mythical, whispered-about, half-holy side-album that’s been teased longer than Half-Life 3……is delayed. Again. Tidy! 😭🤘 🌪️ THE ALBUM THAT’S BECOME A LEGEND This […]
— The Riff Report gets loud, honest, and slightly cheeky about Guns N’ Roses’ two new tracks and the curse of the ageing rock titan. C’mon butt… grab a pint, shove your denim jacket on, and settle in. Because today we’re diving head-first into one of rock’s spiciest questions: Why can’t so many legendary 80s […]
What’s occurring, rockers? Grab a brew, grab a pasty, grab whatever comfort snack gets you through the absolute circus that is modern technology — because today’s internet meltdown deserves its own headline slot at Download Festival. Cloudflare, the mighty digital bouncer that guards half the world’s websites, has face-planted HARD. Again. And when it goes […]
Well hello chaos, my old friend! Guns N’ Roses have only gone and shaken the rock world again by releasing TWO brand-new songs — “Nothin’” and “Atlas” — and honestly, butt… this is the most movement we’ve seen from GN’R since Axl sprinted across a stage in 1992. Tidy! 😅 The announcement landed with the […]
Megadeth have thrown a nuclear sized curveball at the metal world — and no, it’s not another lineup change, butt. The band have officially announced a $950 pre-listening party for what’s being teased as their final ever album, and the internet is collectively doing a double take big enough to snap its own neck. 😅 […]
C’mon butt… we were so close to having the most metal airport name on planet Earth — Ozzy Osbourne International Airport, complete with bats, black balloons, and a duty-free section selling nothing but eyeliner and crucifix jewellery. Tidy, right? Well… Birmingham Airport’s top boss has officially said “NO” to renaming the place after the Prince […]
“I can’t wait to share it with thousands of my closest friends around the world,” says Dave Mustaine — LUSH MUN! Megadeth fans, grab your popcorn, your denim battle vest, and possibly a neck brace, because Big Dave is bringing something proper monstrous to the big screen! 🎬⚡ The thrash titans have announced the global […]
Hold onto your eyeliner, butt — The Damned have just unleashed a brand-new cover of a Pink Floyd classic, and it’s lifted straight from their upcoming album Not Like Everybody Else. And honestly? It SLAPS harder than a mosh pit at 2am in Pontypridd. 🤘🔥 The legendary punk-goth misfits have taken Floyd’s psychedelic majesty and […]