Just when you think you have heard every possible story from the wonderfully chaotic world of rock and metal, along comes an incident that makes flying pints, broken barriers and muddy festival toilets look positively civilised.
A concert by New Zealand metal heavyweights Devilskin was reportedly disrupted after a rather substantial pile of human waste was discovered in the middle of the mosh pit.
Yes, mun.
Someone apparently had a poo in the pit.
The incident is reported to have happened during Devilskinโs show at Union Hall in Dunedin on 25 July, transforming what should have been an evening of crushing riffs, raised horns and sweaty headbanging into one of the most bizarre gig stories we have encountered in quite some time.
๐จ Something Nasty in the Pit
Mosh pits are normally home to circle pits, flying elbows, lost shoes and that one bloke who somehow manages to keep hold of two pints while being bounced around like a pinball.
What nobody expects to find is an actual biological hazard.
Reports from the concert suggest the situation caused confusion among the crowd as people began realising exactly what had appeared on the floor.
Unsurprisingly, the affected section of the pit quickly cleared.
There are plenty of reasons to step away from a mosh pit. Exhaustion, overheating, a lost contact lens or the sudden realisation that your knees are no longer 21 years old are all perfectly reasonable.
Avoiding a pile of human excrement is probably the most understandable reason of the lot.
๐คข Not Quite the Brown Note We Were Expecting
The incident reportedly brought proceedings to a halt while the mess was dealt with.
Venue staff were left with the thoroughly unpleasant job of cleaning the area before the concert could continue, proving once again that the people working behind the scenes at gigs deserve far more appreciation than they often receive.
Security teams and venue crews already have enough to contend with. They manage crowds, help injured fans, deal with spillages and keep events running safely.
They really should not have to arrive at work wondering whether somebody is going to turn the mosh pit into a festival toilet.
๐ธ Devilskin Deserved Better
It is especially frustrating because the disgusting incident risks overshadowing the band and their performance.
Devilskin have built a strong reputation through powerful live shows, towering vocals and a heavy sound made for packed rooms. Fans attending the Dunedin concert should have left talking about riffs, songs and memorable moments from the stage.
Instead, the conversation became dominated by whatever on earth happened in the crowd.
That is hardly fair on the band, their crew, the venue staff or the fans who simply wanted to enjoy a brilliant night of live music.
๐ค Metal Crowds Are Usually Better Than This
The rock and metal community is often misunderstood by outsiders.
People see the black T-shirts, loud guitars and aggressive-looking pits and assume the crowd must be dangerous. Anyone who regularly attends gigs knows the reality is often completely different.
Someone falls down? They are picked straight back up.
Someone loses a shoe? It is often raised above the crowd until its owner appears.
Someone looks distressed? Fans usually create space and help them reach safety.
That unspoken code of respect is one of the finest things about heavy music.
Whatever caused this incident, it is the complete opposite of what a good mosh pit should represent. A pit should be wild, loud and energetic, but it should never become unsafe or disgusting for everyone around it.
๐ฝ Use the Toilets, Butt
We cannot believe this needs saying, but here we are.
Venues have toilets for a reason.
Even when the queue is long, the floor is sticky and the cubicle door looks like it survived a Motรถrhead afterparty, it is still a considerably better option than relieving yourself in the middle of a crowd.
Nobody wants to spend the rest of the gig checking the soles of their boots.
Nobody wants security arriving with disinfectant.
And absolutely nobody wants the phrase โhuge mess of sh*t in the mosh pitโ becoming the lasting memory of the evening.
๐ค The Riff Report Verdict
We have witnessed some strange sights during years of gigs and festivals.
We have seen inflatable dinosaurs crowd-surfing, people dressed as priests leading circle pits, blokes wearing mankinis in horizontal rain and enough questionable festival toilets to haunt our dreams forever.
But this one may have officially crossed a new line.
A mosh pit should contain sweat, excitement, laughter and possibly one abandoned trainer.
It should not require a hazmat team.
So, let this serve as a friendly public-service announcement to gig-goers everywhere:
Look after each other. Respect the bands. Respect the venue staff. Keep the pit safe. And for the love of Lemmy, use the bloody toilet.
Stay loud, stay respectful and watch where you step, butt. ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฝ
Proudly Welsh. Proudly Loud. Zero Apologies.
