๐ฒ Upcote Farm, Cheltenham โ July 10, 2025
โ๏ธ The Riff Report Blog | Still hoarse, still happy, still covered in glitter and gravel rash
๐ธ Thursday: The Day the Forest Went Feral
If Wednesday was the emotional warm-up, Thursday was the flipping cannonball into the riff pool. The Main Stage roared to life, the pits exploded, and the crowd โ already sunburnt and cider-happy โ screamed into the trees like wolves on payday.
From heartfelt howls to hardcore havoc, Thursday brought everything: legendary chaos, surprise tears, and the kind of atmosphere that makes you believe in live music all over again.
Welcome to Day One proper, butt. Letโs go.
๐ค Main Stage Mayhem โ Big Dogs, Big Feels, Big Walls of Death
๐ Holding Absence
Our Cymraeg heroes absolutely owned the Main Stage before the sun had even hit its peak. Lucas Woodlandโs vocals reached biblical levels of emotion. โAfterlifeโ had us crying, โGravityโ had us airborne, and โWiltโ… well, it broke us. A Welshman leading a forest choir of goths and emo kids? Proper tidy.
โThis band saved my life.โ โ Overheard, and 100% agreed.
๐ป Cancer Bats
Get on your bike, because the Bats brought carnage. โHail Destroyerโ caused three separate pits and a human pyramid made entirely of lads in Slipknot tees. Liam Cormierโs energy could power a small town, and his Canadian politeness while inciting violence was strangely wholesome.
Also: someone crowdsurfed with a crate of tinnies. Legend.
๐ Turnstile
TURNSTILE. TURNSTILE. TURNSTILE. There are no words, but weโll try.
The most euphoric set of the entire weekend. โMysteryโ was a cosmic slap to the soul. โT.L.C. (Turnstile Love Connection)โ turned the crowd into a bouncing, sobbing, screaming ocean of love and limbs. This wasnโt just a gig โ it was a sermon in the Church of Hardcore.
One guy literally wept while two-stepping. Same, mate. Same.
๐ฅ Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes
Frank Carter, king of chaos, master of ceremonies. He arrived, screamed, split the crowd in half, got the women to form their own pit, and delivered a masterclass in punk performance.
โI Hate Youโ became a festival-wide group therapy session. โJuggernautโ nearly broke the earthโs crust.
โYou beautiful weirdos, I bloody love you.โ โ Frank (and us, back at ya, you mad tattooed legend).
๐ช The Cave & Neu Stages โ Loud, Sweaty, Beautiful
๐ As Everything Unfolds (Cave)
Charlie Rolfe is a beast. Her vocals flipped between melody and menace like a switchblade. โFlip Sideโ and โSlow Downโ made this feel like a main stage preview. Expect big things.
๐ค ZAND (Neu)
Imagine if cyberpunk, industrial goth, and clubland chaos had a glittery goblin baby. Thatโs ZAND.
They swaggered onto the Neu Stage like it owed them money and delivered filth, fury, and high fashion in equal parts. โBoys Like Youโ was a sleazy, delicious, punchy banger. Crowd? Unhinged and loving it.
๐ฒ Forest Stage โ Acoustic Feels and Emo Healing
๐ธ Beans on Toast
Our favourite rambling folk hero, back where he belongs โ barefoot, half-cut, and heartfelt. โMDMAmazingโ had us dancing. โThe Chicken Songโ had us howling. โMagicโ had us hugging strangers. Trees isnโt Trees without Beans. End of.
๐ญ Holding Absence (Acoustic Set)
Yes, them again โ and yes, we cried again. The Forest Stage version of โLike a Shadowโ was utter heartbreak on a stick. We were all puddles. Emotional masochists unite.
๐ Jamie Lenman (Secret Set)
Lenmanโs secret late-night acoustic session pulled in the masses. Between the one-liners and the stripped-down bangers, it felt like an intimate gig for a thousand people. Forest magic. Pure and simple.
๐ Fuel for the Pit: Food & Drink Highlights
- Best Grub: Mac & Cheese with jalapeรฑos โ cheesy chaos.
- Biggest Rip-Off: ยฃ9 for โartisanโ fries. We paid it. Donโt judge.
- Cheapest Pint: ยฃ6.50 lager โ warm but effective.
- Most Unhinged Combo: Vegan doner + Monster Energy. Result: pit wizard mode unlocked.
๐ฉ Toilet Watch: Day 2 Status
- Still (barely) usable.
- The Portaloo DJ in Red Campsite is still blasting ABBA.
- One rogue urinal now has a โwelcome homeโ sign.
๐ Thursday Riff Report Awards
๐ฅ Best Set of the Day: Turnstile โ full religious experience.
๐ Biggest Cry: Holding Absence (Forest) โ sobbing into our eco cups.
๐ Best Pit Chaos: Cancer Bats โ three pits, one man in crocs.
๐ Best Dressed: Guy in inflatable T-Rex suit with a โSupport Local Bandsโ vest.
๐ Most Decibels: ZAND โ earplugs were shaking.
๐ฌ The Bad, The Bizarre & The Brilliantly 2000trees
- ๐ต Signal still nonexistent. You are now free to live in the moment (and/or scream โWhere are you?!โ into the void).
- ๐จ Tent peg casualties continue. The ground is harder than Lars Ulrichโs ego.
- ๐ธ One guy tried to propose during โI Hate You.โ Bold choice. She said yes. Chaos reigns.
๐ FINAL VERDICT: THURSDAY = RIFF HEAVEN
Thursday 2025 was Trees at its very best: diverse, passionate, emotional, sweaty, and totally unhinged. From the sonic sermon of Turnstile to Frank Carterโs all-out attack, to Holding Absenceโs double emotional knockout, this day felt like it was made by music fans, for music fans.
We laughed, we cried, we limped home in glittery socks.
๐ธ Tag us in your best photos @theriffreportuk
๐ง Thursday Playlist dropping: โCry. Mosh. Repeat.โ
๐งผ Shower if you must. Or embrace the filth.
Coming up: FRIDAY โ Brutus, Boston Manor, Enter Shikari, and probably another three emotional breakdowns. LETโS AV IT. ๐
Cโmon butt, we ainโt even peaked yet. ๐ธ๐ฅ๐ป
Michael is the founder, editor, and chief riff wrangler behind The Riff Report, an independent Welsh rock and metal publication built by fans, for fans. With a lifelong passion for loud guitars, unforgettable live shows, and the incredible community that surrounds rock and metal, he created The Riff Report to celebrate everything that makes the scene specialโfrom legendary headline acts and grassroots venues to rising bands that deserve to be heard.
A familiar face at festivals across the UK, Michael spends much of the year covering events including Download Festival, Bloodstock Open Air, Steelhouse Festival, Firevolt, Plumpton Revival, and many more. Whether heโs battling the Welsh weather on a mountainside, surviving a weekend in a muddy campsite, or squeezed against the front barrier with thousands of fellow fans, heโs always searching for the next great story to share.
As editor of The Riff Report, Michael writes festival guides, breaking news, album reviews, gig reviews, interviews, opinion pieces, nostalgia features, and behind-the-scenes stories from across the rock and metal world. His writing combines honest opinions, humour, and a genuine love for live music, bringing readers closer to the bands, festivals, venues, and people that keep the scene alive.
Michael is particularly passionate about supporting independent artists, local venues, charities, and the wider UK rock and metal community. He believes every band deserves a chance to be discovered and every festival has a story worth telling. Through The Riff Report, he aims to shine a spotlight on both the biggest names in rock and the future stars waiting to break through.
When heโs not writing or interviewing artists, youโll probably find him exploring festival campsites, photographing live shows, chatting with fellow fans over a pint, or planning the next road trip in search of more riffs, bigger crowds, and unforgettable moments.
Above all, Michael believes rock and metal are about more than musicโtheyโre about community, friendship, and creating memories that last a lifetime. Thatโs exactly what The Riff Report exists to celebrate.
Proudly Welsh. Proudly Loud. Always chasing the next great riff. ๐ค
Comments