Join The Team
“Let’s make some noise… proper noise.”
Welcome, rocker. If you’ve landed here, you’re either:
1️⃣ A music maniac with too much to say,
2️⃣ A pit warrior still nursing a broken rib from Download ‘16,
3️⃣ A glam goth wordsmith with eyeliner sharper than your wit,
4️⃣ Or all three – in which case, we salute you 🫡
This isn’t just a “write for us” page.
This is a rallying cry to every misfit, metalhead, and punk poet who’s ever screamed, “I could write better than that!” after reading a half-arsed gig review from someone who left before the encore. 😤
We are The Riff Report Blog – and we’re building a band of legends.
Wanna join? Let’s break it down.
🎤 WHO THE BLOODY HELL ARE WE?
The Riff Report is the loud, proud, and slightly daft corner of the internet dedicated to rock, metal, punk, alt, and every glorious genre in between. We cover everything from headline acts to hidden gems, and we do it all with a cheeky grin, a pint in hand, and our horns held high 🤘🍻
Based in Wales but moshing globally, we live for:
- 🎶 Gig reviews that make you feel the sweat
- 🏕️ Festival guides full of chaos, camping tips & mosh pit survival
- 🧙♂️ Rock myths, music history & weird stories from the road
- 🎸 Album breakdowns, band deep dives & top ten listicles
- 👕 Merch madness, VIP rants & more memes than sense
If it shreds, we cover it.
We’re part fanblog, part fanzine, part unhinged group chat.
And we’re growing faster than a riff in a Slayer solo.
🧙♀️ WHO WE’RE LOOKING FOR (YES, YOU!)
No matter your background, if your blood runs black (with eyeliner), and your Spotify Wrapped makes normies cry, then you’re one of us.
We’re calling out for:
✍️ Writers
Can you turn your passion into prose?
Want to rant about That One Underrated Album?
Feel like unleashing your fury at corporate VIP ticket scams?
Whether you’re scribbling in a notebook or tapping out reviews in the mosh pit, we want your voice.
📸 Photographers
Got a knack for snapping sweaty bands mid-scream?
We need camera heroes who can capture:
- Live gig energy
- Festival madness
- Candid backstage chaos
- Merch booth mayhem
🎧 Music Nerds
Are you the encyclopedia friend? The one who knows every band member’s side project and has opinions on every track from Kerrang! The Album Vol. 1 to Vol. 78? We need your deep dives and weird facts!
🤹 Creative Chaos Gremlins
Think memes. Think sketches. Think cartoon band bios.
Got TikToks in your head? Want to make fun reels of “Gigs vs Reality”?
This is your playground.
🎮 Gamers Who Rock
Got a love for video game soundtracks, rhythm games, or guitar-wielding RPG characters? We’ve got crossover content too — from Doom metal to DOOM (1993).
🌍 WHAT WE COVER (AND HOW YOU FIT IN)
You don’t need a journalism degree. You don’t need industry connections. You don’t even need to live near a venue.
You do need:
- Passion
- A sense of humour
- An opinion
- And the ability to have fun with it
Here are just a few types of posts we love:
| 🎶 Content Type | 💥 Examples |
|---|---|
| Album & Gig Reviews | “Green Day at Download: Still Snotty After All These Years” |
| Festival Survival | “Steelhouse or Bust – The Ultimate Guide to Rocking the Mountain” |
| Mythbusters | “Did Ozzy Actually Bite That Bat?” 🦇 |
| Throwbacks | “The Best Mullet at Monsters of Rock ‘88” |
| Listicles | “10 Bands You Forgot Opened for Iron Maiden” |
| Merch Rants | “Why Are All Band Shirts £40 Now?!” |
| Guest Riffs | Your own take, your own flair, uncensored and loud |
If you’ve got a unique perspective, a hilarious story, or just a killer opinion on the state of modern metal, we want you on board.
💰 IS THIS PAID?
Let’s be honest here, butt: we’re not offering retirement plans and Lamborghinis just yet.
We’re indie, we’re DIY, and we’re still building — but we believe in credit, exposure (the good kind), and community perks.
Here’s what we do offer:
- Your name, face, and flair on the site 🖋️
- Your own contributor page/profile
- Free gig passes when we can wrangle ‘em 🎟️
- Early album listens
- Invites to Discord contributor chat
- A community that hypes you up, helps you out, and probably sends memes at 3am
As we grow, paid gigs and sponsorships are 100% in the pipeline.
🕶️ WHY JOIN US?
Tired of blogs that read like spreadsheets?
Sick of gatekeeping and snobbery?
Want to actually have fun writing about music?
Here’s what makes The Riff Report different:
🤘 Vibe First
We care about vibes as much as knowledge.
You don’t have to be Pitchfork. Just be passionate.
🧼 No Boring Stuff
No SEO waffle. No “Top 5 Tips for Guitar Tone” unless it’s got jokes.
🏴 Cymraeg & Proud
We sprinkle our Welsh slang and culture through everything.
Because only in Wales, mun can you see a dragon onesie in a circle pit.
💬 Community-Led
Our Discord is full of like-minded rock gremlins, from teen TikTokers to ageing metalheads still crying over Dio. You’ll fit in just fine.
📝 WHAT YOU CAN CONTRIBUTE
1. A One-Off Guest Post
Want to dip your toe in? Write a single post and see how it feels.
Perfect for first-timers or busy bees.
2. A Series or Column
Got a bigger idea? A regular feature? A deep-dive series on pop-punk’s weirdest lyrics? Let’s make it happen.
3. Reviews & Press Coverage
Apply to cover gigs or festivals on our behalf. We’ll help you get press access and promote your work.
4. Creative Fun Stuff
Comics? Charts? Stick figure reenactments of Megadeth vs Metallica? Let your imagination run wild.
🔥 STILL NOT SURE?
Here’s what past contributors have said:
“Writing for The Riff Report made me feel seen. I could finally scream about power metal and someone actually read it!” – Rhys from Cardiff
“I reviewed a tiny gig, and two months later the band used my quote on a tour poster. Absolutely lush.” – Jess from Bridgend
“It’s like a punk zine met Kerrang! and got drunk together.” – Dan from Swansea
🎸 OKAY, I’M IN – WHAT NOW?
It’s easy to join. Here’s how:
📮 Step 1: Say Hello
Email us at te**@**************co.uk or fill in the form on staging.theriffreport.co.uk/
Tell us:
- Who you are
- What you love
- What you’d like to write/do
- One band you’d sell your nan to see live
🧠 Step 2: Pitch It
Got an idea already? Send a headline, a few lines of what it’s about, and any links to past work (if you have any — not required!).
🧑🎤 Step 3: Let’s Riff!
We’ll get back to you faster than a Slayer solo. We’ll chat, brainstorm, and get your voice up on the site. Simple as.
🤘 FINAL RIFF
We started The Riff Report because we were bored of beige music coverage.
We wanted something loud, fun, and bloody real.
So we built it. And now we want you to help us build it bigger.
If you’ve ever laughed in a mosh pit, cried at a power ballad, or screamed at the telly when your favourite band got snubbed — you belong here.
So…
Mic check. Pen ready. Camera charged.
Let’s make some fking noise.**
Join us. Be part of the riffolution.
📣 APPLY NOW:
👉 https://theriffreport.co.uk/
📧 te**@**************co.uk
🔗 Discord: https://discord.gg/yaCTJWDg
Let me know if you want this turned into a page layout, email copy, Discord announcement, or if you want a shouty Glaswegian voiceover version. Diolch! 🏴🔥