aka โWhat in the name of Lemmy were they thinking?!โ ๐ ๐ฅ
Letโs face it โ even legends can have a stinker. Whether itโs a bizarre genre shift, dodgy production, or just a total betrayal of what made fans fall in love in the first place, some albums get roasted harder than a Greggs pasty left on a car dashboard in July. โ๏ธ๐ฅต
So, buckle in butt, weโre diving headfirst into the albums that made fans go โNOPE,โ critics go โWHY,โ and record labels go โoh god not againโฆโ ๐๐
1. Metallica โ St. Anger (2003)
๐ง Snare like a biscuit tin, no solos, raw rage
Oh aye, weโre starting with that one. The infamous bin-lid snare sound, zero guitar solos, and Hetfield in full existential crisis mode. Some fans call it brave. Others call it unlistenable. Either way, Frantic-tic-tic-tic-tic-tic-TURN IT OFF!
Hate Rating: ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
2. Morbid Angel โ Illud Divinum Insanus (2011)
๐ง Death metal meets technoโฆ badly
Imagine Slayer and Scooter did a collab in an abandoned car park and youโre halfway there. Fans were tamping, mun. โToo Extreme!โ wasnโt just the opening track โ it was a threat. ๐ชฉ๐ช
Hate Rating: ๐คฏ๐คฏ๐คฏ๐คฏ๐คฏ๐คฏ๐คฏ
3. KISS โ Music From ‘The Elderโ (1981)
๐ง A concept album. By KISS.
Because when you think KISS, you definitely think high-concept fantasy musical with narration, orchestration, and weird medieval vibes, right? No? Exactly. Gene Simmons still looks haunted. ๐งโโ๏ธ๐
Hate Rating: ๐ง๐ง๐ง๐ง๐ง๐ง
4. Queensrรฟche โ Frequency Unknown (2013)
๐ง Literally called “F.U.” โ classy.
Geoff Tateโs solo-ish revenge project after being booted from the band. Rushed, sloppy, and the mix sounds like someone spilled Red Bull on the soundboard.
Hate Rating: ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ
5. Lou Reed & Metallica โ Lulu (2011)
๐ง โI am the table.โ
Two legends walk into a studioโฆ and record the musical equivalent of someone reading Kafka in a haunted IKEA. Critics tried to be nice. Fans didn’t.
Hate Rating: ๐ช๐ช๐ช๐ช๐ช๐ช๐ช
6. Van Halen โ Van Halen III (1998)
๐ง No Hagar. No Roth. Justโฆ Cherone.
Gary Cherone (of Extreme fame) joined Van Halen and fans collectively whispered โโฆwho?โ The album flopped, Eddie later called it a mistake, and Cherone quietly vanished into the fog. ๐ช
Hate Rating: โโโโโ
7. Slayer โ Diabolus in Musica (1998)
๐ง Slayerโฆ goes nu metal?
Slayer doing groove riffs? Down-tuned guitars? Almost-rapping? This was not the Reign in Blood sequel fans wanted. Even Kerry King called it his least favourite.
Hate Rating: โฐ๏ธโฐ๏ธโฐ๏ธโฐ๏ธโฐ๏ธ
8. Linkin Park โ One More Light (2017)
๐ง Whereโs the rock?
LP went full pop, and the backlash was brutal. Though some fans defended it after Chesterโs tragic passing, others felt blindsided by the lack of heavy. Sad, poppy, divisive.
Hate Rating: ๐๐๐๐
9. Iron Maiden โ Virtual XI (1998)
๐ง Bring back Bruce!
Blaze Bayleyโs second outing, and it didnโt go down well. The production was muddy, the songs were long and lifeless, and The Angel and the Gambler made fans question their life choices.
Hate Rating: ๐ฅฑ๐ฅฑ๐ฅฑ๐ฅฑ๐ฅฑ
10. Def Leppard โ Slang (1996)
๐ง Letโs go grungeโฆ badly.
Trying to stay โcurrentโ in the post-Nirvana era, Def Leppard ditched the hairspray for angst. But instead of fresh, it just felt confused. The title says it all.
Hate Rating: ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฌ
11. Bring Me The Horizon โ That’s The Spirit (2015)
๐ง Emo-core turned pop rock
Diehard fans wanted breakdowns. They got synths. Plenty loved the new direction, but just as many felt betrayed like theyโd been dumped via Instagram DM.
Hate Rating: ๐งผ๐งผ๐งผ๐งผ๐งผ
12. Black Sabbath โ Forbidden (1995)
๐ง Feat. Ice-T. Produced by Ernie C. No, really.
The final Tony Martin album. And itโs got Body Count‘s guitarist producing and Ice-T doing guest vocals. Itโs a brave mess. Some call it misunderstood. Most just forget it exists.
Hate Rating: ๐ซ๐ซ๐ซ๐ซ๐ซ
Honourable Dishonourable Mentions:
- Guns N’ Roses โ Chinese Democracy (more โmehโ than hated, but it took 14 years for that?)
- Smashing Pumpkins โ Adore (Billy went gothic piano lounge and lost the metalheads)
- Suicidal Tendencies โ Join the Army (you either love it or skip it)
- Megadeth โ Risk (Dave Mustaine was right: they shouldnโt have taken that one)
Final Thoughts?
Every band has their Spinal Tap Stonehenge moment. Itโs part of the ride. And hey โ even these disasters have a few defenders. But when a metalhead says โI am the table,โ you know it scarred them for life. ๐ตโ๐ซ
Got one we missed? Let us know and weโll slap it on the โWTF Were You Thinking?โ Wall of Shame next time. ๐ค๐ฅ
๐ค Follow The Riff Report for more chaotic lists, passionate rants, and festival field wisdom โ weโve got riffs, regret, and rock ‘n’ roll by the truckload.
Diolch for reading, legends! ๐ด๐ฅ
