WITH KORN SCREAMING “ARE YOU READYYYYY” INTO YOUR SOUL 🤘🔥

Forget fireworks. Bin off Auld Lang Syne. And respectfully tell the BBC countdown to do one.

If you want to actually welcome the new year properly, there’s only one ritual that matters, and it involves nu-metal, distortion, and a scream that could crack time itself.

Here’s the plan, mun. It’s simple. It’s beautiful. It’s unhinged.

🎤 THE RIFF REPORT NEW YEAR’S EVE RITUAL 🎤

At 11:59:09pm on December 31st, press play on Blind by Korn.

Do NOT mess this up. Timing matters. Precision matters. This is science.

If done correctly, as the clock strikes midnight, Jonathan Davis will unleash the immortal words:

“ARE YOU READYYYYY”

And BOOM.
New year.
New chaos.
Same emotional damage.

⏱️ WHY 11:59:09PM? (YES, IT MATTERS)

Because the intro to Blind is a slow, creeping menace. That bassline stalks you. The tension builds. The room starts vibrating. People look concerned.

Then, right on midnight, Davis hits that scream like a sledgehammer through reality itself.

No polite countdown.
No awkward hugs.
Just pure sonic violence welcoming the year like a flying kick to the chest.

Poetry.

🧠 WHY THIS IS THE CORRECT WAY TO DO IT

Let’s be honest. The world is chaos. Your resolutions won’t last. January is long. It’s cold. Greggs stops feeling special by week two.

So why not start the year with something honest?

Blind isn’t about hope.
It’s about confusion, frustration, and raw energy.
Which, let’s face it, is exactly what the next 12 months will probably deliver.

Starting the year with Korn is basically saying:
“Whatever happens… I’m ready to scream about it.”

That’s mental health, that is.

🥁 THE VIBE CHECK

Picture it:

  • Living room slightly trashed
  • Someone holding a warm can
  • Someone else shouting “TURN IT UP”
  • Neighbours silently judging
  • Jonathan Davis screaming directly into the future

Chef’s kiss. Proper job. Only in Wales mun.

🔥 THE RIFF REPORT OFFICIAL INSTRUCTION 🔥

We’re calling it now:

Everyone reading this is legally and spiritually obligated to do this tomorrow night.

Film it. Share it. Shout it.
Tag your mates. Tag us. Tag your nan if she’s into nu-metal.

Start the new year loud.
Start it sweaty.
Start it with Korn screaming into the void.

ARE YOU READYYYYY, 2026? 😈🎤🔥