If your Christmas playlist has been feeling a bit too polite, too cosy, not enough catsuits and falsetto shrieking… worry not, butt — The Darkness have arrived like glitter-covered elves armed with Flying Vs to save the season! 🤘✨
Yup, our favourite glam-rock mischief-makers have unleashed a life-affirming, over-the-top, gloriously daft cover of Cliff Richard’s ‘Mistletoe and Wine’, and it’s exactly what Santa ordered after one too many dry pigs-in-blankets. 🎅🔥
🎤 WHAT DOES IT SOUND LIKE?
Imagine Cliff’s wholesome classic…
…then imagine Justin Hawkins exploding out of your chimney like a festive banshee hitting notes only dogs and reindeer can hear. 🦌💥
We’re talking:
- Massive glam-rock guitar crunch
- Choirs that sound like they’re fuelled by mulled wine and mischief
- A key change so dramatic it could headline panto season
- A solo that could melt snow in Merthyr ❄️🔥
Proper job, lads.
🎅 WHY THIS COVER SLAPS HARDER THAN GRANDMA AFTER TOO MUCH SHERRY
Cliff gave us wholesome.
The Darkness give us HOLY-SNOWBALL-WHAT-WAS-THAT?! ❄️⚡
This isn’t just a cover — it’s a renewable energy source of Christmas joy. It’s the soundtrack to wrapping presents badly. It’s the anthem to spilling gravy during Christmas dinner. It’s the reason Santa is upgrading his sleigh to a Marshall stack. 🎁🔊
🧦 A FESTIVE GIFT FOR ALL OF US
The band called it a “sonic gift”, and tidy, mun — they weren’t lying.
It’s:
- Camp
- Loud
- Ridiculous
- Beautiful
- And so, so The Darkness
Exactly what December needs.
🤘 FINAL THOUGHTS (NOT THAT WE EVER DO “FINAL THOUGHTS”, MUN)
Add it to your playlist.
Blast it through the streets.
Let the neighbours complain.
’Tis the season to rock your baubles off! 🎄⚡
Michael is the founder, editor, and chief riff wrangler behind The Riff Report, an independent Welsh rock and metal publication built by fans, for fans. With a lifelong passion for loud guitars, unforgettable live shows, and the incredible community that surrounds rock and metal, he created The Riff Report to celebrate everything that makes the scene special—from legendary headline acts and grassroots venues to rising bands that deserve to be heard.
A familiar face at festivals across the UK, Michael spends much of the year covering events including Download Festival, Bloodstock Open Air, Steelhouse Festival, Firevolt, Plumpton Revival, and many more. Whether he’s battling the Welsh weather on a mountainside, surviving a weekend in a muddy campsite, or squeezed against the front barrier with thousands of fellow fans, he’s always searching for the next great story to share.
As editor of The Riff Report, Michael writes festival guides, breaking news, album reviews, gig reviews, interviews, opinion pieces, nostalgia features, and behind-the-scenes stories from across the rock and metal world. His writing combines honest opinions, humour, and a genuine love for live music, bringing readers closer to the bands, festivals, venues, and people that keep the scene alive.
Michael is particularly passionate about supporting independent artists, local venues, charities, and the wider UK rock and metal community. He believes every band deserves a chance to be discovered and every festival has a story worth telling. Through The Riff Report, he aims to shine a spotlight on both the biggest names in rock and the future stars waiting to break through.
When he’s not writing or interviewing artists, you’ll probably find him exploring festival campsites, photographing live shows, chatting with fellow fans over a pint, or planning the next road trip in search of more riffs, bigger crowds, and unforgettable moments.
Above all, Michael believes rock and metal are about more than music—they’re about community, friendship, and creating memories that last a lifetime. That’s exactly what The Riff Report exists to celebrate.
Proudly Welsh. Proudly Loud. Always chasing the next great riff. 🤘
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