Alright butt, grab your popcorn, light a pumpkin candle (or three), and prepare to scream, laugh, and maybe headbang a little — because it’s Halloween movie marathon time! 🤘🔥 Whether you’re into blood-splattered slashers, spooky comedies, or full-on gothic vibes, The Riff Report’s got your back like a haunted leather jacket. 🧛‍♂️💀


👻 CLASSIC HORROR HITS – The OGs That Still Slap

🪓 Halloween (1978)
The film that birthed the slasher legend. Michael Myers: silent, stabby, and somehow always walking yet catching everyone running. A tidy soundtrack from John Carpenter too.

🩸 A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Freddy Krueger — proof that sleep is overrated. Dream demon, metal claws, and one-liners that’d make even Ozzy snort-laugh.

🪦 The Exorcist (1973)
Pea soup. Spinning heads. Religious trauma. The ultimate “don’t mess with ouija boards” movie.

🔪 Friday the 13th (1980)
Before Jason got his iconic hockey mask, he was just an angry mummy’s boy. Camp Crystal Lake – where bad decisions go to die. Literally.

🧟 The Evil Dead (1981)
Chainsaws, cabins, and more fake blood than Download’s mosh pit. Bruce Campbell = horror royalty.


😱 MODERN NIGHTMARES – New Flicks for Your Fear Fix

🎭 Hereditary (2018)
Family drama meets full-on nightmare fuel. If you thought your gran was creepy, wait till you see this one.

🐇 Get Out (2017)
Jordan Peele’s horror masterpiece that mixes social commentary with proper “OH HELL NO” moments.

👁️ Barbarian (2022)
Airbnb gone wrong. Like, really wrong. You’ll never look at a rental the same way again.

🏠 The Conjuring (2013)
Ghost hunters Ed and Lorraine Warren doing their spooky thing. Proper job for when you want jump scares that feel classy.

🪞 Smile (2022)
That grin will haunt your dreams. It’s like The Ring met IT at a therapy session.


😂 SPOOKY BUT FUN – Because Not Every Scream Has To Hurt

🧙‍♀️ Hocus Pocus (1993)
Bette Midler, camp chaos, and witchy one-liners. “Amok! Amok! Amok!”

🧛 What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
Vampire flatmates arguing about chores and fashion. Only in New Zealand, mun.

💋 The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
Fishnets, mad science, and singalongs. Don’t dream it – stream it.

🧟‍♂️ Shaun of the Dead (2004)
The ultimate British horror-comedy. Grab a pint, head to the Winchester, and wait for this whole thing to blow over.

🔮 Beetlejuice (1988)
Ghosts, goths, and Tim Burton at his weirdest. Say his name three times…


🎸 RIFF REPORT WILD CARD PICKS – Because We’re Not Normal

🔥 Trick ’r Treat (2007)
Anthology chaos. Werewolves, pumpkin demons, and that tiny sack-headed lad who deserves his own band.

🤡 House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
Rob Zombie doing Rob Zombie things. Twisted, loud, and filthy — basically The Riff Report in movie form.

🎤 Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (2006)
It’s not scary, but it’s legendary. Satan, shredding, and Jack Black at his loudest.

🩰 Suspiria (1977 or 2018)
Haunting visuals, witch covens, and soundtracks that’ll make your skin crawl.

🪄 Coraline (2009)
For the goth kids and grown-ups who never stopped being them. Stop-motion perfection with proper eerie undertones.


🕯️ BONUS ROUND: FOR THE BRAVE (OR FOOLISH)

👹 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) – still one of the most uncomfortable watches ever.
💀 Midsommar (2019) – sunshine, flowers, and emotional ruin.
🧛 Nosferatu (1922) – silent film, pure nightmare fuel.
🤘 Lords of Chaos (2018) – the true (and truly bonkers) story of Norwegian black metal.


🎃 So there you go, butt!
Whether you’re carving pumpkins, dressing as a zombie, or just hiding under a blanket with snacks and cider, these flicks will sort you right out.

👉 What’s your Halloween tradition? Drop your must-watch horror in the comments — bonus points if it involves metal soundtracks or daft Welsh ghost stories. 👻

Stay spooky, stay loud, and have a bloody good Halloween from everyone at The Riff Report! 🦇🔥🤘