Well what’s occurring, streamers? Grab a cuppa (or a can of Monster like a true goblin), because this one’s proper hilarious. Spotify finally rolled out its long-awaited “lossless” tier — the mythical feature they’ve been teasing longer than a Tool album cycle — and instead of crowning themselves HD audio gods, they… wait for it…
BOOSTED QOBUZ’S USER COUNT BY 500%
Yep. Five. Hundred. Percent.
Diolch, Spotify? 😂
Why Did This Happen?
Turns out the moment Spotify said, “Look everyone, we’re doing lossless too, honest butt!” the world collectively went:
“Hang on, who actually does lossless PROPERLY?”
Enter Qobuz, the French hi-fi darling that’s been smashing out FLAC files like it’s selling croissants. People took one look at Spotify’s “lossless-ish” offering, shrugged, and sprinted to Qobuz faster than a Welsh dad legging it to the bar between songs at a gig.
Qobuz Users Right Now 🤣
The meme says it all — picture every Qobuz subscriber cackling like a villain in a Scorsese movie.
You know the one: unhinged, full-body laughter, tears of joy, the whole shebang.
That’s them.
That’s you.
That’s us.
Tidy.
The Streaming War Just Got Spicy 🔥
For years Spotify’s been the big green dragon stomping over everyone — but the moment they leave a weak spot in their armour, smaller platforms start sneaking in like:
Qobuz: “We actually value audio quality, mun.” Tidal: “We walked so they could run.” Apple Music: “We have Lossless. And Dolby Atmos. And… everything except good UI.”
Spotify didn’t just shoot themselves in the foot — they reloaded the gun and donated it to Qobuz with a bow on top.
So What’s Next?
Streaming just got interesting again.
Audiophiles are buzzing.
Qobuz is partying like it’s Download Festival after a dry spell.
And Spotify?
They’re probably in a meeting right now trying to figure out why their “revolutionary” launch made everyone switch apps faster than you can say “buffering.”
Only in Wales, mun… 🫠
Final Verdict 🤘
Qobuz: Big W
Spotify: Massive L
Music fans: Laughing like that Goodfellas meme
Streaming wars? More like streaming banter — and we’re here for every second of it.
Rock on, you hi-fi legends. 🎶🔥
Michael is the founder, editor, and chief riff wrangler behind The Riff Report, an independent Welsh rock and metal publication built by fans, for fans. With a lifelong passion for loud guitars, unforgettable live shows, and the incredible community that surrounds rock and metal, he created The Riff Report to celebrate everything that makes the scene special—from legendary headline acts and grassroots venues to rising bands that deserve to be heard.
A familiar face at festivals across the UK, Michael spends much of the year covering events including Download Festival, Bloodstock Open Air, Steelhouse Festival, Firevolt, Plumpton Revival, and many more. Whether he’s battling the Welsh weather on a mountainside, surviving a weekend in a muddy campsite, or squeezed against the front barrier with thousands of fellow fans, he’s always searching for the next great story to share.
As editor of The Riff Report, Michael writes festival guides, breaking news, album reviews, gig reviews, interviews, opinion pieces, nostalgia features, and behind-the-scenes stories from across the rock and metal world. His writing combines honest opinions, humour, and a genuine love for live music, bringing readers closer to the bands, festivals, venues, and people that keep the scene alive.
Michael is particularly passionate about supporting independent artists, local venues, charities, and the wider UK rock and metal community. He believes every band deserves a chance to be discovered and every festival has a story worth telling. Through The Riff Report, he aims to shine a spotlight on both the biggest names in rock and the future stars waiting to break through.
When he’s not writing or interviewing artists, you’ll probably find him exploring festival campsites, photographing live shows, chatting with fellow fans over a pint, or planning the next road trip in search of more riffs, bigger crowds, and unforgettable moments.
Above all, Michael believes rock and metal are about more than music—they’re about community, friendship, and creating memories that last a lifetime. That’s exactly what The Riff Report exists to celebrate.
Proudly Welsh. Proudly Loud. Always chasing the next great riff. 🤘
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