Right. Deep breath. Confession time, mun.
Yes — The Riff Report absolutely, unapologetically loves The Apprentice.
And no, we will not be taking questions from the metal police at this time 😅🤘
Twenty. Bloody. Series.
That’s two decades of dodgy business plans, PowerPoint crimes against humanity, taxis to nowhere, and Lord Sugar firing people like he’s tuning a Marshall stack.
🧠 FROM 2005 TO 2026: A NATIONAL OBSESSION
When The Apprentice first landed back in 2005, none of us expected it to become this weirdly comforting British ritual.
Since then we’ve had:
- Logos that look like GCSE coursework
- “Premium” products nobody asked for
- Candidates confidently explaining things that are objectively wrong
- And that glorious walk of shame into the boardroom 😬
Yet here we are.
Twenty series deep. Still watching. Still shouting at the telly. Still asking “HOW ARE THEY STILL IN?”
That’s legacy behaviour.
💼 LORD SUGAR: STILL FIRING, STILL ICONIC
Let’s be honest — Lord Alan Sugar is the show.
The raised eyebrow.
The sigh.
The “with regret…” pause that sends shivers down spines nationwide.
He’s basically the Ozzy Osbourne of British business telly at this point — weathered, sharp-tongued, and somehow more entertaining with age.
And when he drops a line that absolutely ends someone?
Chef’s kiss. Proper job. 😈👌
🤦♂️ WHY DO WE LOVE IT SO MUCH?
Look, we cover rock, metal, chaos, and community — but The Apprentice taps into something very similar:
- Big personalities clashing under pressure
- Ego vs reality
- Confidence without competence
- Group projects gone violently wrong
It’s basically a prog-metal concept album, but with spreadsheets.
Also — let’s be real — watching people mess up spectacularly while claiming they’re “disrupting the market” is oddly soothing after a long day.
🎸 IS IT ROCK ’N’ ROLL? ABSOLUTELY NOT
🎤 IS IT ENTERTAINMENT? 100%
Would we crowd-surf to it? No.
Would we headbang to the theme tune? Maybe ironically.
Would we still watch every episode with a brew and shout “YOU’VE FORGOTTEN THE COSTINGS!” at the screen?
Absolutely, mun.
Music snobbery is boring.
Liking things ironically is exhausting.
Liking things genuinely — even if they’re a bit daft — is punk as hell.
🧾 THE VERDICT FROM THE BOARDROOM
Series 20 is here.
The format still works.
The chaos still hits.
And yes — The Riff Report is locked in.
Judge us if you must… but you’re probably watching too 😉
📺 The Apprentice returns on BBC One and iPlayer
🔥 20 years of boardroom carnage and counting
Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got a logo to redesign badly and a business plan to forget halfway through.
You’re fired. 💼💥
Michael is the founder, editor, and chief riff wrangler behind The Riff Report, an independent Welsh rock and metal publication built by fans, for fans. With a lifelong passion for loud guitars, unforgettable live shows, and the incredible community that surrounds rock and metal, he created The Riff Report to celebrate everything that makes the scene special—from legendary headline acts and grassroots venues to rising bands that deserve to be heard.
A familiar face at festivals across the UK, Michael spends much of the year covering events including Download Festival, Bloodstock Open Air, Steelhouse Festival, Firevolt, Plumpton Revival, and many more. Whether he’s battling the Welsh weather on a mountainside, surviving a weekend in a muddy campsite, or squeezed against the front barrier with thousands of fellow fans, he’s always searching for the next great story to share.
As editor of The Riff Report, Michael writes festival guides, breaking news, album reviews, gig reviews, interviews, opinion pieces, nostalgia features, and behind-the-scenes stories from across the rock and metal world. His writing combines honest opinions, humour, and a genuine love for live music, bringing readers closer to the bands, festivals, venues, and people that keep the scene alive.
Michael is particularly passionate about supporting independent artists, local venues, charities, and the wider UK rock and metal community. He believes every band deserves a chance to be discovered and every festival has a story worth telling. Through The Riff Report, he aims to shine a spotlight on both the biggest names in rock and the future stars waiting to break through.
When he’s not writing or interviewing artists, you’ll probably find him exploring festival campsites, photographing live shows, chatting with fellow fans over a pint, or planning the next road trip in search of more riffs, bigger crowds, and unforgettable moments.
Above all, Michael believes rock and metal are about more than music—they’re about community, friendship, and creating memories that last a lifetime. That’s exactly what The Riff Report exists to celebrate.
Proudly Welsh. Proudly Loud. Always chasing the next great riff. 🤘
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