Just when you thought your gig calendar was full…

BANG.

Another week of rock and metal tour announcements lands and suddenly you’re checking annual leave, hotel prices and whether selling a kidney is technically allowed under Ticketmaster’s terms and conditions.

😂💸🤘

The latest batch of announcements has brought everything from southern rock legends and alternative favourites to sludge monsters, death metal carnage and stripped-back acoustic shows.

Basically, there’s something here for every flavour of riff addict.

So grab the diary, message the gig group chat and prepare to hear the most financially dangerous sentence in rock music:

“Fancy this one, butt?”

Here are 10 new rock and metal tours announced this past week.

🎸 .38 SPECIAL ADD EVEN MORE DATES

Southern rock veterans .38 Special are keeping that road engine roaring by adding another substantial collection of shows to their touring schedule.

For a band with decades behind them, they certainly don’t appear interested in putting their feet up.

And why would they?

With tracks including “Hold On Loosely,” “Caught Up in You” and “Rockin’ Into the Night,” .38 Special still possess exactly the sort of enormous hooks designed to sound bloody brilliant with thousands of people singing along.

This is old-school American rock at its finest.

Big guitars.

Big choruses.

Absolutely no interest in subtlety.

Just how we like it. 🤘

🌴 311 HIT THE ROAD WITH BEACH WEATHER + TUNNEL VISION

Alternative rock veterans 311 are squeezing another collection of dates into their already busy world, with Beach Weather and Tunnel Vision joining them.

311 remain one of those glorious bands who have never really bothered staying inside one musical box.

Rock?

Yep.

Reggae?

Absolutely.

Rap?

Chuck that in.

Funk?

Go on then.

For decades they’ve mixed the lot together and somehow emerged with a sound that is immediately recognisable.

Throw Beach Weather and Tunnel Vision into the equation and you’ve got a properly varied night of alternative noise brewing.

Lovely stuff.

💀 BAYWAY BRING THE HARDCORE VIOLENCE

Right.

Time to remove the sensible shoes.

Bayway are heading back onto the road alongside Cold Steel, Two-Piece and Load Tha Nine, creating the sort of touring bill where the venue floor should probably check its insurance beforehand.

😂

This one is for the hardcore crew.

The people who hear a breakdown and immediately start calculating how much furniture they need to move out of the way.

Expect:

Massive riffs.

Violent breakdowns.

Bodies flying.

Some poor bloke standing at the back wondering why everyone suddenly started karate kicking invisible enemies.

Beautiful.

🔥 BORN OF OSIRIS ARE BRINGING A SERIOUSLY HEAVY PACKAGE

Now this is filthy.

Born of Osiris are heading out for a sizeable run with Miss May I, Downsizing and Convictions.

That support package alone should have metalcore fans reaching for the ticket page.

Born of Osiris have spent years blending crushing heaviness with progressive musicianship, electronics and the sort of breakdowns capable of rearranging your internal organs.

Then add Miss May I into the mix?

Yeah.

Your neck is already doomed.

This isn’t a gig.

It’s physiotherapy preparation.

🤘😂

🎤 JAY BUCHANAN STRIPS THINGS BACK

Not every tour announcement this week involves somebody trying to cave your chest in with a breakdown.

Rival Sons frontman Jay Buchanan is heading out for a run of solo acoustic performances.

And this could be something genuinely special.

Anyone who’s seen Rival Sons live already knows Buchanan possesses one of the strongest voices in modern rock.

Take away the enormous guitars.

Take away the full-band thunder.

Leave the songs, the acoustic guitar and that ridiculous voice.

Suddenly you’ve got a completely different kind of intensity.

Expect goosebumps rather than circle pits.

Possibly tears.

Almost certainly somebody whispering “bloody hell” after a particularly massive vocal.

🎸❤️

🎄 CREEDMAS IS COMING

Yes.

You read that correctly.

CREEDMAS.

😂🎄🤘

Creed are continuing their remarkable resurgence with a short December run featuring Tim Montana.

And considering how huge Creed’s comeback has become, you’d probably be wise not to underestimate how quickly these shows could attract attention.

There was once a period when admitting you liked Creed apparently required filling out several forms and apologising to the cool kids.

Not anymore.

The nostalgia train has well and truly arrived.

And thousands of fans are very happily climbing aboard.

If an arena full of people doesn’t scream “WITH ARMS WIDE OPEN” during these shows, we’ll eat a festive hat.

🩸 EXHUMED ARE BRINGING DEATH METAL TO THE HOLIDAY SEASON

From Creedmas…

…to death metal.

Because balance is important.

Exhumed are heading out with Jarhead Fertilizer, Savage Master and Molder, creating one of the nastier touring packages of the latest announcement pile.

Forget sleigh bells.

We’re having blast beats.

Forget Christmas carols.

We’re having riffs that sound like industrial machinery being thrown into a wood chipper.

If your festive playlist normally frightens the neighbours, this one’s probably for you.

💀🔥

😈 EYEHATEGOD ARE TAKING THE FILTH BACK ON THE ROAD

There are heavy bands.

There are dirty bands.

And then there’s Eyehategod.

The New Orleans sludge legends are heading out alongside BL’AST!, Luicidal and Evil Army, meaning venues are about to become considerably grimier.

Eyehategod have spent decades perfecting music that sounds like blues riffs were dragged through a swamp, covered in broken glass and then plugged into an amplifier held together with duct tape.

That’s a compliment, by the way.

Their live shows have never been about polished perfection.

They’re about attitude.

Noise.

Feedback.

Sweat.

And riffs filthy enough to require industrial-strength cleaning products afterwards.

Absolutely lush. 😈🤘

🔥 HE IS LEGEND ANNOUNCE ANOTHER ROAD RUN

He Is Legend are returning to the road with In Angles and Excide.

And if you’ve followed He Is Legend for any length of time, you’ll know predicting exactly what you’re going to get from them isn’t always straightforward.

Southern swagger.

Metal.

Alternative rock.

Hardcore.

Strange melodies.

Huge riffs.

And enough twists to keep things interesting.

They’re one of those bands that can attract people from several different corners of the heavy music world and throw them all into the same room.

Which usually means one thing.

Chaos.

🌑 XASTHUR BRING THE DARKNESS

And finally…

Time to turn the lights off.

Xasthur are heading out with Temple of the Fuzz Witch, giving fans of darker, atmospheric music something suitably grim to look forward to.

This probably isn’t where you’re going for a cheerful singalong and an inflatable beach ball.

This is music for staring dramatically into the middle distance while contemplating your existence.

😂🖤

Xasthur have long occupied one of the darker corners of underground music, mixing black-metal roots with haunting atmosphere and experimentation.

Pairing them with Temple of the Fuzz Witch should make for one seriously heavy evening.

Dark.

Slow.

Atmospheric.

Miserable.

Perfect.

🎟️ AND THAT’S NOT ALL…

Because apparently the rock world looked at ten new tours and decided that wasn’t enough.

There have also been several special live-event announcements floating around, including cruises, anniversary performances and end-of-year shows.

And we’re entering that dangerous part of the calendar where bands begin revealing plans for autumn, winter and the following year.

Which means your social feeds are about to become an endless parade of:

NEW TOUR ANNOUNCED.

TICKETS FRIDAY.

PRESALE TOMORROW.

VIP PACKAGE COSTS APPROXIMATELY THE GDP OF A SMALL COUNTRY.

😂💸

💸 THE GREAT GIG WALLET MASSACRE CONTINUES

We all do it.

Every January we make promises.

“I’m going to fewer gigs this year.”

“I’m saving money.”

“I’ll only see the bands I’ve never seen before.”

Then someone announces a tour.

Your mate sends you the poster.

You reply:

“Go on then.”

And three days later you’ve booked tickets, parking, a hotel and somehow agreed to travel 180 miles on a Tuesday.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle.

🤘😂

And this week’s announcements contain a bit of everything.

Want classic rock?

You’ve got .38 Special.

Alternative?

311.

Metalcore carnage?

Born of Osiris.

Sludge?

Eyehategod.

Death metal?

Exhumed.

Something stripped back and emotional?

Jay Buchanan has you covered.

Whatever your poison, there are plenty more excuses coming to get out of the house, stand in a dark room and shout lyrics with several hundred complete strangers.

And that’s precisely how it should be.

🤘 WHICH TOUR ARE YOU PICKING?

Right then, butt…

If you could grab tickets for ONE of these tours, which one are you choosing?

Are you heading straight for the brutality?

Going old-school?

Or are you quietly eyeing up that Jay Buchanan acoustic show while pretending you’re not about to get emotional?

Let us know.

And tag the mate who always says:

“I’m skint.”

…approximately six minutes before buying another gig ticket.

😂🔥

Proudly Welsh. Proudly Loud.

THE RIFF REPORT 🤘🏴