Imagine you’re playing guitar alongside one of your absolute heroes. Brian May is standing next to you, Red Special in hand, smashing through a Queen classic… and then suddenly he LEANS AGAINST YOU.

What do you do?

If you’re The Darkness guitarist Dan Hawkins, apparently the answer is simple:

DO. NOT. MOVE. 😂🎸

Because Hawkins has recalled the gloriously awkward moment he found himself playing back-to-back with Queen legend Brian May — only to realise that one badly timed shuffle could potentially send one of rock’s most famous guitarists tumbling towards the stage.

Forget remembering the chords.

Forget looking cool.

Forget throwing shapes.

Dan Hawkins suddenly had one job:

KEEP BRIAN MAY UPRIGHT.

And frankly, mun, we reckon that deserves some kind of medal. 🏅😂

🎸 The Night The Darkness Joined Forces With Royalty

The brilliant story dates back to 2011, during The Darkness’ comeback following their five-year hiatus.

The band were performing at London’s Hammersmith Apollo, and as if seeing Justin Hawkins and company back together wasn’t enough, they decided to casually bring out one of the greatest guitarists ever to strap on a six-string.

Brian bloody May.

May joined The Darkness for a storming performance of Queen favourite ‘Tie Your Mother Down’.

And this wasn’t some random celebrity cameo either.

The relationship between May and The Darkness goes back years. Dan Hawkins has previously recalled that May was an enthusiast of the band from their early days — even before they were signed.

Considering Queen’s enormous influence on The Darkness, having Brian May walk onto their stage must have been one of those properly surreal “how the hell did we get here?” moments.

But things were about to get even more surreal.

😂 “WHAT IS BRIAN DOING?”

During ‘Tie Your Mother Down’, May wandered over towards Dan.

Nothing unusual there.

Two guitarists.

Big stage.

Massive riffs.

This is exactly the moment where the ancient laws of rock ’n’ roll dictate that both guitarists must stand beside one another and look ridiculously cool.

Except May had another idea.

He turned around.

Then he went back-to-back with Hawkins.

And Dan’s brain apparently immediately went into emergency mode. 🚨

Speaking recently to Guitar World, Hawkins remembered initially wondering exactly what May was doing before realising the Queen guitarist was initiating what he called the “rock triangle.”

Then came the terrifying thought:

“If I move, he will fall over.”

😂😂😂

Absolutely magnificent.

Here is Dan Hawkins — a man who has spent decades playing arenas, festivals and enormous stages — suddenly standing there like somebody has placed an extremely expensive antique vase against his back.

Nobody breathe.

Nobody sneeze.

Nobody request an encore.

BRIAN MAY IS LEANING.

🤘 The Sacred Art Of The Rock Guitar Pose

This is something nobody teaches you at guitar lessons.

You learn chords.

You learn scales.

You learn alternate picking.

Maybe somebody teaches you a bit of tapping if your teacher is feeling particularly Van Halen that afternoon.

But nobody teaches:

Lesson 47: What To Do When Brian May Suddenly Leans Against You.

Apparently May was completely comfortable with the manoeuvre.

Dan?

Slightly less so.

Footage of the performance apparently shows May looking perfectly at home while Hawkins appears rather more cautious about disturbing the delicate ecosystem that had suddenly developed behind him.

And we absolutely understand.

Imagine being responsible for knocking Brian May over.

You’d never recover.

Every interview for the rest of your life:

“So Dan, tell us about the new Darkness album…”

“Yeah, we’re really proud—”

“REMEMBER WHEN YOU KNOCKED BRIAN MAY OVER?”

😭

Career finished.

Passport confiscated.

Immediate exile.

Probably banned from Wembley.

👑 Thankfully, Brian Survived

Of course, nothing disastrous actually happened.

Dan remained sufficiently frozen.

Brian remained vertical.

And ‘Tie Your Mother Down’ continued without a rock ’n’ roll insurance claim being required.

Hawkins has even joked about the fact that the incident happened before May received his knighthood, imagining what the consequences might have been if he’d accidentally injured a knight of the realm.

We suspect Buckingham Palace probably doesn’t actually have a specific punishment for “accidentally flattening Brian May during a guitar solo.”

Although maybe they should.

🔥 Brian May Was Delighted The Darkness Were Back

There was also a genuinely lovely side to the whole appearance.

The Darkness had been away for several years before reuniting in 2011, and May clearly seemed delighted to have them back.

During that Hammersmith show, he told the audience how happy everyone was that The Darkness were back together and “conquering the world again.”

That’s one hell of an endorsement.

And it’s particularly fitting considering the enormous influence May and Queen have had on The Darkness.

Justin Hawkins has repeatedly spoken about his admiration for May’s guitar playing, describing the Queen legend as one of the musicians who shaped his own sound and praising everything from his melodies to his harmonies and songwriting.

The connection between the two bands has continued long after that night, too.

Most recently, The Darkness and Brian May reunited musically for the 2026 Masters of the Universe movie, with May appearing on the film’s end-credits title track performed by The Darkness. The song was written by Daniel Pemberton alongside Dan and Justin Hawkins, with Dan also sharing production duties with Pemberton.

So thankfully Dan’s decision to remain absolutely bloody motionless in 2011 clearly paid off.

Had Brian ended up rolling across the Hammersmith Apollo stage like a dropped Les Paul, collaborations might have become slightly more awkward.

🎸 A Proper Rock ’N’ Roll Moment

There are countless stories about musicians meeting their heroes.

Some are emotional.

Some are inspirational.

Some involve legendary studio sessions.

And some apparently involve standing completely still because you’re terrified you’ll accidentally knock Brian May onto his backside.

We know which ones we prefer. 😂

The brilliant thing about Dan Hawkins’ story is that underneath all the ridiculousness, it reminds you that even musicians who’ve played enormous stages around the world can still become completely starstruck.

Because Brian May isn’t just another guitarist.

He’s Brian May.

The Red Special.

‘Bohemian Rhapsody’.

‘Brighton Rock’.

‘We Will Rock You’.

‘Tie Your Mother Down’.

Decades of riffs, harmonies and guitar tones that helped define what rock music could sound like.

So when that bloke suddenly decides your back is now part of his stage furniture…

you stay bloody still.

😂 The Riff Report Verdict

Dan Hawkins deserves enormous respect here.

Not for the guitar playing.

Not for the performance.

Not even for keeping his composure while sharing the stage with one of his heroes.

But for understanding the most important rule in British rock music:

If Brian May leans on you, YOU BECOME THE WALL.

No questions.

No movement.

No fancy footwork.

You plant those boots into the stage and accept your new career as structural support for Queen. 😂🤘

Brian stayed upright.

The guitars kept roaring.

The Darkness smashed through ‘Tie Your Mother Down’.

And more than a decade later, we’ve ended up with one of the funniest little behind-the-scenes stories imaginable.

Proper rock ’n’ roll, butt.

And somewhere there’s probably a guitar teacher frantically adding “Brian May stability training” to next week’s lesson plan.

🤘🔥🎸

Proudly Welsh. Proudly Loud.

The Riff Report Blog — keeping the riffs loud, the stories ridiculous and Brian May safely vertical.