Only Ozzy bloody Osbourne could make his last rites sound like a party. The Prince of Darkness has unleashed his final memoir — and this time, it’s been brought to life by Planet Rock’s very own Ian Danter, whose voice could probably make a shopping list sound like a gig at the NEC.

Yep, the audiobook version of Last Rites is officially out now, and if you’re ready for one more mad ride through six decades of chaos, carnage and cackling from rock’s ultimate survivor, then grab your headphones and prepare to laugh, gasp, and possibly choke on your pint. 🍺

⚰️ THE END OF AN ERA – OZZY’S FINAL CHAPTER

Last Rites is being billed as Ozzy’s final word — the closing chapter in a story that’s spanned Black Sabbath, solo superstardom, near-death disasters, and reality TV infamy. Written with long-time friend and guitarist Billy Morrison, the memoir digs deeper than ever before into Ozzy’s wild ride from the streets of Aston to the stages of the world.

This isn’t just a retelling of the old bat-biting stories (though they’re in there, don’t you worry). It’s raw, reflective, and full of that classic Ozzy humour — equal parts chaos and confession. 🖤

“This one’s for the fans,” says Ozzy. “I’ve told my story before, but this time… it’s the whole bloody truth.”

And if that doesn’t give you chills, you’re probably already dead inside.

🎙️ WHY IAN DANTER IS THE PERFECT VOICE FOR OZZY

Now, here’s where things get lush — Planet Rock’s Ian Danter, who’s spent years spinning Sabbath and singing the praises of British metal, is the voice behind the audiobook.

Danter’s no stranger to storytelling — from his radio days to his own music career, he’s got that proper classic rock energy that fits Ozzy like a studded glove. 🎤

Imagine it: the Brummie bite, the banter, the passion. Danter channels the madness, the melancholy, and the sheer metalness of Ozzy’s life with the perfect mix of warmth and grit. It’s not an impression — it’s an interpretation. The audiobook feels like sitting in a pub with Ozzy himself, pint in hand, telling you everything he wasn’t supposed to. 🍻

🦇 INSIDE THE MADNESS – WHAT TO EXPECT IN LAST RITES

Brace yourself, butt. Last Rites takes you deeper into the storm than ever before:

  • 🎸 The early Sabbath years – Riffs, rifts, and the invention of heavy metal itself.
  • 💀 The solo superstardom – Randy Rhoads, MTV mayhem, and how Crazy Train changed everything.
  • 🩸 Addiction, accidents, and survival – The bits where you’ll say “how the hell is he still alive?”
  • 💍 Sharon, family, and fame – Love, loyalty, and a bit of reality TV madness.
  • 🧠 Health battles and redemption – Parkinson’s, pain, and that unkillable Brummie spirit.

It’s heartfelt one minute, hilarious the next — a true reflection of a man who’s equal parts rock god and walking disaster movie.

⚡ THE LEGACY LIVES ON

Even though Last Rites might mark the end of Ozzy’s written story, it’s clear his legacy is still screaming through every amp on earth. From Sabbath to Ordinary Man, from the Ozzfest chaos to his “final” farewell concerts, Ozzy’s still the beating, bat-bitten heart of heavy metal.

And let’s be honest — when the day finally comes that Ozzy hangs up the mic, the entire rock world will go silent for a second… then crack open a can and blast Paranoid in his honour. 🤘

Until then, we’ve got Last Rites — the book, the audiobook, and the reminder that even after 75 years of mayhem, Ozzy’s still the boss.

📚 WHERE TO GET IT

Last Rites by Ozzy Osbourne and Billy Morrison
🎧 Audiobook narrated by Ian Danter (Planet Rock)
Available now via Audible, Apple Books, and major retailers.

💀 Final verdict from The Riff Report:

This isn’t just a memoir — it’s a metal pilgrimage.
Pour a pint, light a candle, and salute the Madman one last time.
Long live the Prince of Darkness. 🦇