New shores, same glorious carnage at sea – let’s set sail, butt!
Oi Sailors! The world’s heaviest cruise is back, and it’s changing course for 2026. That’s right, 70000TONS OF METAL, the world’s biggest floating festival of face-melting riffage, is now setting sail to Nassau, Bahamas – and the first wave of bands is already making noise louder than the ship’s engine room. 😈
🌴🧭 New Destination: Goodbye Labadee, Hello Nassau!
Due to safety concerns, the cruise is no longer docking at Labadee, Haiti, and instead will set course for Nassau, Bahamas. It’s tropical, it’s chaos-friendly, and it’s got bars on every corner.
📅 Sailing Dates:
January 29 – February 2, 2026
🛳️ Aboard Royal Caribbean’s Freedom of the Seas
🚢 Departing from Miami, Florida
Still included:
- 🎸 60 bands
- 🎤 Each band plays twice – once out, once back
- 🛁 4 epic stages (including the legendary pool deck)
- 🖤 No VIPs. No hierarchy. Just band-to-fan glory.
🤘 What Makes 70000TONS the G.O.A.T. of Metal Cruises?
- 🪩 Mosh pits in the sunshine
- 🍕 Unlimited food (and surprisingly good pizza)
- 🍺 Meet-and-greet madness — bands roaming freely
- 🎹 Clinics, karaoke, belly flop contests (yep, really)
- 🤯 Over 120 shows in 4 days
- 🧟♂️ Fans from over 70 countries!
This ain’t your mum’s cruise — it’s floating heavy metal Valhalla.
🎸 FIRST 27 BANDS ANNOUNCED – MELT YOUR PASSPORT
Here’s who’s confirmed so far. And yes, it’s already filthy:
- Aeternam (symphonic death)
- Amorphis (melodic metal legends)
- Angra (prog/power gods)
- Blood Red Throne (Norwegian death metal)
- Cryptosis (tech-thrash chaos)
- Dalriada (Hungarian folk metal)
- Destruction (thrash royalty)
- Draconian (doom/goth faves)
- Ereb Altor (epic Viking doom)
- Evergrey (dark melodic prog)
- Exhorder (groove originators)
- Finntroll (folk/black trolls)
- Flotsam and Jetsam (thrash titans)
- God Dethroned (Dutch death machine)
- Gorguts (avant-garde death)
- Hammer King (true heavy metal)
- Holy Moses (female-led thrash fury)
- Kalmah (melodeath swamp monsters)
- Myrath (Tunisian prog with flair)
- Nervosa (Brazilian thrash queens)
- Night In Gales (melodeath classics)
- Omnium Gatherum (melodic death juggernauts)
- Samael (industrial black metal)
- Sirenia (symphonic metal elegance)
- Suffocation (brutal NY death)
- The Halo Effect (ex-In Flames melodeath supergroup)
- Unleashed (Swedish death veterans)
And this is just the first wave. The full 60 will blow the barnacles off your boots.
💳 COST BREAKDOWN – HOW MUCH DAMAGE TO THE WALLET?
✈️ FLIGHTS FROM THE UK
- Economy: £450–£650
- Premium Economy: £800–£1100
- Business Class: £2000+
✈️ Tip: Fly in the day before to avoid delays & grab a pre-cruise pint.
🚢 CABIN OPTIONS
| Room Type | Price (USD/person) | What You Get |
|---|---|---|
| Interior | $900–$1100 | No windows, cheap, pitch-black sleep cave |
| Ocean View | $1100–$1300 | Porthole, basic light, ideal for solo drinkers |
| Balcony | $1600–$1900 | Private deck for sunrise hangovers |
| Junior Suite+ | $2500–$4000+ | Massive, swanky, rockstar energy |
Prices are based on double occupancy — you can find cabin mates via the cruise forum or Discord groups.
🍺 DRINK PACKAGES – PLAN YOUR POISON
Royal Caribbean offers tiered drink packages, and trust us, you’ll want one:
🥤 Refreshment Package
- No booze, but unlimited sodas, mocktails, coffee, etc.
- ~$30/day
🥤 Classic Soda Package
- Just fizzy pop. Useful if you’re DIY’ing with rum in your cabin.
- ~$13/day
🍹 Deluxe Beverage Package (THE GOOD STUFF)
- Unlimited cocktails, beer, wine by the glass, juices, lattes, etc.
- $65–$90/day, depending when you book.
🔥 Tip: Buy before the cruise to save cash.
You’ll make it worth it in 5–7 drinks per day, easily.
🧠 PRO TIPS FOR FIRST-TIMERS
- Hydrate or die trying
- Pack smart: sunscreen + black clothing = roasted metalhead
- Plan your schedule, but expect chaos
- Talk to bands – they’re literally everywhere
- Don’t skip Nassau – tiki bars + rum = reset button
🧮 TOTAL COST ESTIMATE (FROM UK)
| Tier | Flights | Cruise | Total Approx. |
|---|---|---|---|
| Budget Banger | £500 | £900 | £1400 |
| Mid-Tier Mosh | £600 | £1300 | £1900 |
| Balcony Baller | £700 | £1800 | £2500 |
| Rock God Mode | £1000+ | £3000+ | £4000+ |
Food’s included. Booze isn’t. But memories? Free and chaotic.
🏁 FINAL WORD: THIS IS METAL NAVIGATION, MUN! ⚓
Whether you’re a seasoned sailor or a first-timer clutching your earplugs, 70000TONS OF METAL 2026 is the pilgrimage of a lifetime. And with Nassau on the itinerary, sunshine, rum, and riffs are guaranteed.
This is not a cruise for the faint of heart. It’s for the mosh-ready maniacs, the stage-diving lifers, and the metal family from every continent.
Get your tickets. Pack your vest. And pray to Lemmy you don’t miss the boat.
🗣️ Over to you:
🎸 Who else do you wanna see on board?
🍻 What’s your drink of choice in the hot tub mosh pit?
🌊 Would you survive a black metal limbo contest at sea?
👇 Hit the comments, tag us, and stay loud:
@theriffreportuk | #70000TONS | #NassauOrNothing | #MetalCruiseMadness | #AllAboardTheRiffShip
Michael is the founder, editor, and chief riff wrangler behind The Riff Report, an independent Welsh rock and metal publication built by fans, for fans. With a lifelong passion for loud guitars, unforgettable live shows, and the incredible community that surrounds rock and metal, he created The Riff Report to celebrate everything that makes the scene special—from legendary headline acts and grassroots venues to rising bands that deserve to be heard.
A familiar face at festivals across the UK, Michael spends much of the year covering events including Download Festival, Bloodstock Open Air, Steelhouse Festival, Firevolt, Plumpton Revival, and many more. Whether he’s battling the Welsh weather on a mountainside, surviving a weekend in a muddy campsite, or squeezed against the front barrier with thousands of fellow fans, he’s always searching for the next great story to share.
As editor of The Riff Report, Michael writes festival guides, breaking news, album reviews, gig reviews, interviews, opinion pieces, nostalgia features, and behind-the-scenes stories from across the rock and metal world. His writing combines honest opinions, humour, and a genuine love for live music, bringing readers closer to the bands, festivals, venues, and people that keep the scene alive.
Michael is particularly passionate about supporting independent artists, local venues, charities, and the wider UK rock and metal community. He believes every band deserves a chance to be discovered and every festival has a story worth telling. Through The Riff Report, he aims to shine a spotlight on both the biggest names in rock and the future stars waiting to break through.
When he’s not writing or interviewing artists, you’ll probably find him exploring festival campsites, photographing live shows, chatting with fellow fans over a pint, or planning the next road trip in search of more riffs, bigger crowds, and unforgettable moments.
Above all, Michael believes rock and metal are about more than music—they’re about community, friendship, and creating memories that last a lifetime. That’s exactly what The Riff Report exists to celebrate.
Proudly Welsh. Proudly Loud. Always chasing the next great riff. 🤘
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