Well, well, well… who’d have thought it, butt? The Filipino fast food giant Jollibee has rocked up in the UK with their bee mascot, fried chicken empire, and gravy tubs the size of a small paddling pool. And you know what? I was massively surprised – in the best way possible!
First Impressions 🐝
Walk into Jollibee and it feels like a mix between KFC, McDonald’s, and your aunty’s house after she’s gone rogue with the deep fryer. The orange-and-red branding is loud, the staff are lush, and the whole vibe screams “have fun while you clog your arteries.” Proper job!
The Chicken 🍗🔥
Forget the Colonel, mun. This fried chicken is crispy, juicy, and makes you wanna text your ex just to brag. It’s got a crunch that could wake the dead and a seasoning that’s got a cheeky kick. Not overly greasy either, which is a shocker for fast food.
The Spaghetti 🍝🤯
Yes, you read that right. Spaghetti. In a fast food joint. Sweet-style sauce, hotdog slices thrown in like it’s a kid’s birthday party, and enough cheese to make an Italian cry. Weird? Definitely. Delicious? Shockingly, YES. It’s the chaos meal you never knew you needed.
The Peach Mango Pie 🥧✨
Hands down the MVP. Forget McDonald’s apple pie – this thing is golden, crispy, oozing tropical goodness, and tastes like a summer holiday in your gob. I’d order 10 and still want more.
Prices 💷
Honestly? Not bad! A chickenjoy meal with sides will set you back around £7–£8, which is cheaper (and tastier) than the sad limp bread Subway tries to flog for £9. Value for money, c’mon butt!
The Verdict 🤘
I went in sceptical, expecting chaos. Came out a believer. Jollibee might just be the most fun fast food in the UK right now – it’s loud, it’s different, and it doesn’t pretend to be anything it’s not.
👉 Would I pick it over KFC? Hell yes. Over Greggs? Steady on mun… let’s not start a war. 😂
Michael is the founder, editor, and chief riff wrangler behind The Riff Report, an independent Welsh rock and metal publication built by fans, for fans. With a lifelong passion for loud guitars, unforgettable live shows, and the incredible community that surrounds rock and metal, he created The Riff Report to celebrate everything that makes the scene special—from legendary headline acts and grassroots venues to rising bands that deserve to be heard.
A familiar face at festivals across the UK, Michael spends much of the year covering events including Download Festival, Bloodstock Open Air, Steelhouse Festival, Firevolt, Plumpton Revival, and many more. Whether he’s battling the Welsh weather on a mountainside, surviving a weekend in a muddy campsite, or squeezed against the front barrier with thousands of fellow fans, he’s always searching for the next great story to share.
As editor of The Riff Report, Michael writes festival guides, breaking news, album reviews, gig reviews, interviews, opinion pieces, nostalgia features, and behind-the-scenes stories from across the rock and metal world. His writing combines honest opinions, humour, and a genuine love for live music, bringing readers closer to the bands, festivals, venues, and people that keep the scene alive.
Michael is particularly passionate about supporting independent artists, local venues, charities, and the wider UK rock and metal community. He believes every band deserves a chance to be discovered and every festival has a story worth telling. Through The Riff Report, he aims to shine a spotlight on both the biggest names in rock and the future stars waiting to break through.
When he’s not writing or interviewing artists, you’ll probably find him exploring festival campsites, photographing live shows, chatting with fellow fans over a pint, or planning the next road trip in search of more riffs, bigger crowds, and unforgettable moments.
Above all, Michael believes rock and metal are about more than music—they’re about community, friendship, and creating memories that last a lifetime. That’s exactly what The Riff Report exists to celebrate.
Proudly Welsh. Proudly Loud. Always chasing the next great riff. 🤘
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